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grits? or grit?

May 24, 2020

Anthony dishes (haha) all about grits and grit. Grit is “courage and resolve” or “strength of character.” Watch and listen. Today’s episode is all about perseverance, grit, and endurance. Basically all things that are tough for me but Anthony has already habituated. I read a book about grit and tracking how it affects people years ago and a few things stuck out to me. // grit is a greater indication of long-term happiness in life than socio-economic status, family of origin, or IQ // grit is learnable! and you can always try again to keep developing it. It’s an ongoing formation My big comfort in all this discussion is that we can begin again, we can change! We have neuroplasticity meaning our brain can adapt and change! So I provide a little checklist toward the end of the episode of how to have more grit in all these areas of our lives: emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally, and relationally. Anthony reminds us that asking for grace is probably the best place to start. How’s your grit?

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frequent discouragement

May 17, 2020

It’s not just because of the global pandemic and my heart is broken for families who have lost loved ones, suffered greatly mentally, economically, and emotionally. It’s actually something I struggle with regularly: discouragement. Like a wave, it sometimes washes over me and I feel trapped under it. Other times, it is pulled away from me and I see my wet feet but know I’m fine, that it’s an ongoing high tide & low tide. Discouragement can touch on any number of topics for me, and maybe for you, too. Body image, energy levels, bodily health, overcommitting and disappointing people, how impatient I was, and the list goes on. As I grow in my spiritual life, I can recognize, “OH! that’s a spiritual attack or my pride kicking in here–I need to just set this discouragement aside.” Anthony and I talk about spiritual warfare, discouragement, and hope in our latest episode of the Hermit + His Wife. Listen or Watch. He steps through the spiritual attacks that come from within, our own weaknesses, and those that come from bad spirits. I love that he had 5 years of philosophy and theology studies in rich & faithful Catholic environments. He knows so much! And he explains it so that even I can understand: how the will and the intellect interact, the material and immaterial faculties are moved, and custody of the imagination. I really valued everything he said in this episode, especially the elements of hope! And how Christ has won…

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liturgy of the hours, hobbies, and a talk for young pros

May 15, 2020

I’m behind! I’m behind! Apologies. Even in an era of pandemic, I was able to hop over to a local church (Our Lady of Lourdes) to live-record a talk for the young professionals crowd. It’s about finding and meaning while pursuing our little v vocation. It starts at about 100 minutes. But don’t skip past Vespers! WATCH + LISTEN Also, two podcast eps and I’m late sharing them! The first is a full run-through of Liturgy of the Hours. Anthony at his best! It’s a fun packed 40 minutes to learn how to pray it, what is happening in this enormous book, and a real encouragement. The one that’s coming out today is a special one for me. It’s about leisure and hobbies. Why do I need them? Why are they important? I discuss that pursuing things that are life-giving have made a difference in my mental health and I’ve seen the same in Anthony’s life, too. How, how, how can people with kids or intense work lives pursue hobbies? And leisure sounds like laziness. Watching shows and eating ice cream are not hobbies–they’re relaxing activities, but they’re not necessarily something that actually spurs me to deeper joy, deeper plugging in and re-ordering my mind toward God, true relaxation. They’re a filler of sorts! Sewing, baking bread, reading, and when my health permits, exercise are my forms of leisure. Luckily, my family can be included in most of those! If they behave! I’d love to hear your thoughts on leisure…

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liking who you love ep 5 of podcast

May 7, 2020

We talk about something super interesting to me today: learning to like (more) the person whom you already love. Youtube ep here and podcast here. Anthony came up with this topic and I was delighted to talk about it, largely because I think people assume that once you’re married, you just like each other more and more. Not true. Besides love being an act of the will, it’s also a habit we have to practice over and over again. Part of my sharing on the episode focuses around that we can *only* control ourselves and how we respond to our beloved. We can’t try to make them change or do something in the hopes we can manipulate their emotions or *get* them to change. Simply being emotionally healthy and being as loving as possible is a big undertaking  for our lifetime. Then acting out of love to our significant other is a whole new challenge and layer. Okay, I love his Saint Francis de Sales quote at the end. Do you have a take on it??

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what’s your prayer life like?

May 3, 2020

  In our newest ep of ye ole Hermit + His Wife (youtube, anchor app) we talk about our prayer lives, how they’ve grown and changed, and where we are at with our marital prayer life, too. The biggest surprise for me for this episode is Anthony’s observations of my changes since working with Blessed is She (almost 6 years old!). I went from being pretty head-heavy in my faith to now really desiring a relationship with God. These changes can’t happen with the flip of a switch. Loads of grace, the community of writers and the team I work with, and a husband who has always encouraged me to keep going through the late night editing, emotionally draining parts, and time tucked away from our family on weekends to get the work done. I love hearing his prayer routine (more on that in another episode!) and which 17th century writer deeply changed his awareness of God’s daily presence. To turn to Him daily, moment-to-moment, and recollect our hearts and minds to Him at all times is just an incredible prayer practice. I’d love to hear about your prayer practices! Please share with us!

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EP 2 of the Podcast on Vocation

April 26, 2020

  We are now deep in podcast//(video youtubing it) land. Anthony’s big quote from this one? “God doesn’t want a set of accomplishments, He wants you.” This episode is a wee over 20 minutes and tells the stories of our discernment of vocation–both marriage and our jobs. I never get tired of hearing how Anthony had a winding road through the diocesan seminary, FSSP major seminary, then a hermitage, then an insurance company, teaching high school Latin, and meeting me in law school. Mostly I delight on the law school part! But something that’s struck me throughout the years is that if Anthony hadn’t taken that road, if he had finished at Notre Dame and gone on to law school right from there, not only would we never have met, but his deep spirituality wouldn’t have had a chance to flourish. He is a truly spiritual person of prayer. And now it’s been over 20 years of cultivating this. How many times have I seen him in quiet prayer while the kids are playing and I’m bustling around (MARTHA ALL THE WAY). How many times has he responded charitably to people treating him badly or helped me re-see a situation where I’m enraged? How does his example of a posture of prayer shape our kids’ daily rhythms? I’m grateful for his road. And I’ve written so much here over the years about my own journey of adjusting to being a mom at home, and gradually growing alongside Blessed is She…

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