whole parenting
So how many posts can Nell do about housework? Oh, I don’t know. How much time do you have? Bear with me. My friend Rachel wrote an ebook. A what? An e-book. That means you can read it on your smartphone or ‘puter. That also means you can’t lose it and no child can teethe actively on it and destroy it. Win-win. She addresses simplifying your home in six chapters. I may or may not have devoured all six as soon as she was kind enough to email me a review copy. Declutter, embrace less is more, purge. All sounds great. BUT HOW I HAVE SMALL CHILDREN?! Then she hands you an actual strategy and game plan. Winning again. First, I implemented it with my already (I thought) purged wardrobe that I’m still working on the photos for an adult capsule wardrobe. Well it turns out I had not completely truly gotten up the gumption to giveaway what I’m not using and wearing. Sniff. Goodbye, college jeans. Second, I had to believe that “I might need it later” is not a valid reason to have a basement full of odds & ends for entertaining. Things my mom used in the 80’s for a Santa-themed cocktail party? I am never throwing that party. Sorry, mama. Third, I branched out into the books, the thousands of books, we have. I have two big bins of board books alone. Many of them aren’t that fabulous. GONE. Fourth, I went through our bathroom cupboard. It’s…
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I wanna start your week out right. By pointing you to some of my newfound favorite readeries on the Internet to park and scroll. Before I do, let me tell you that there is nothing that says I love you, mama, like hot cocoa (extra whip), donuts (Granny’s in West St. Paul, obvi), and a ton of manure compost. We tackled the garden and you can follow our eclectic urban farmerness on Instagram #wholeparentinggarden And due to the babysitting gods being in our favor, we may have also escaped for a late night steak. Thanks to my dad (and bribing the big kids to stay in their respective floor beds with the oath of a sliver of donut each)!! I overloaded on sugar today and am back on the bandwagon that is dubitably named #nosugar30 With all the wonderful and heartfelt Mother’s Day posts out there, including the darker and harder side my friend Laura offered, I found this gem from a few years back. Its focus is on the needs of the motherless children and why they get less attention than mommy-wars. Really made me stop and think. And speaking of thinking, last week I had a week with lots of over-worrying. I’m sure you’re a better partner than I am and never ever get in that downward spiral of being convinced more and more that you’re the ONLY person who worries about the kids socks being dry, toys being picked up, and poor-me, poor-me. We did have a few insanely hard nights…
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If everything were picked up and put away and all the closets organized and the pantry immaculate, I would be happier. True or false? Deep down. I wanna scream TRUE and run away until someone comes and either does this to my house permanently or whisks my kids away so I can do it for the hot second they’re not in that room. But really? Maybe it’s my acceptance of lowered expectations as a mom of three, but it actually is possible to be at peace when your house is in disarray. I mean, like truly, at peace. Not furtively making lists on any available writable-ish surface about all the ways to make it under your control. 1) identify emergency areas and address them first Soggy dish cloths on the floor of the pantry must be laundered by the end of the day. Where their basket grew legs and hobbled off to I have no idea. But I do know that if I don’t run that laundry, the mildew and mold and little toddlers who attack said murky cloths will come. Dishes have to be cleaned. I try to never go to sleep with crusty dishes. Wiped countertops & clean sink are a must for me. I cannot bear that morning breakfast whilst parenting solo with the kids if I’m facing last night’s lasagna pan. Cloth diapers must be tended to. If I’ve stacked a few poopies on the back of the toilet for AA to flush and it’s day 2, I…
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Having three kids under five, staying at home with them, no one being in school, means I have very little alone time with each child individually. When I had two kids, I would stagger their afternoon naps so I could sneak in that extra time with the youngest, just truly playing with her and reading to her and smiling at her. Like, looking her in the eyes and smiling. Because for me the long days alone with the kids, especially when they were younger, were hard. Hard to feel like I accomplished anything beyond the basics, and hard to even feel like I was getting quality time with them. Ironically, although I have three kids now, and SuperBoy is much more into exploring the world and not just eat-diaper-nap-read-repeat, my quality time with them has gone way up because I’m more aware of wanting and needing it. A few years back I gave you a sample day with two kids, and last year I described my day with three, and maybe I talked about my day recently too. For me, to avoid the days blurring together into one big tantrum scream fest where I’m diving into my iPhone for a little break, I’ve been mindful of one-on-one time with them. SuperBoy His love languages are verbal affirmation & physical touch. I’m also all verbal affirmation over here. We snuggle in the morning when he comes into our room, thank you, king-size-bed, and when he gets up from his afternoon rest/naptime. He processes his…
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I hear from a sweet girlfriend she is in labor. I’m at home. I sling the baby on my hips and go upstairs. The older kids clamor what kind of baby will she have? is she going to want a chocolate cake? while following me up the stairs that creak, down the hallway that’s dark, and into the Sitting Room, my work studio. I scan the room in a hurry and blink, in that second recalling the memory of where I safely stowed the matches out of their reach. In a few steps, I recover the matches and light one. The baby tries hard to burn his hands but after setting him down to toddle, I cup the match and my favorite candle made by another sweet friend. Lit, it lets off the sweetest smell and the three kids huddle to watch it flick flack. I’m holding the space for this girlfriend in labor. A lit candle, powerful but vulnerable, makes the perfect analogy for the laboring mama. Her body can do this. It was made to do this. Her breath in & out brings that baby closer to her arms through his or her biggest journey of their life. Don’t you wish we could remember how it felt to kick off the top of the uterus? To head down from our warm cocoon into the bright cold world? Or to feel the surgeon’s rubbery hands lifting us to our mama’s welcoming eyes? Probably best those memories are in our bones and…
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Happy Easter! We’re back in the saddle here in Saint Paul after a whirlwind ten days on the East Coast. Overall, I’d say we traveled well. The kids had their moments of glory and moments of dolphin-like high-pitched protest screeches. You know. But the other adults & family we visited were amazing without any of those shrill sounds, surprisingly! Find me over at Blessed is She this week, Fumbling Towards Grace, and The Fisk Files. Sorry I’ve been kinda absent. Getting back in the groove of life back home. Nunu. She was my travel guru. Ready to prove her grandmotherly travel skills of shushing and soothing the baby, stern looks and sweet snuggles with the tantrum-filled toddler, along with hand-holding and whining-whispering the pre-k’er, she did it all. No one can keep up with her pace of walking with this double stroller that saved our bacon. We could never have navigated the airports, parks, and long stretches of sidewalk walking without it. Good thing she remembered to bring it. Tia KK. She is the ultimate auntie. Devoted to her nieces and nephews, she’s always ready to sing them a new song, play a freshly made-up game, or distract them from their deep distress over sharing. She saved all of us from even more crying my taking the saddest child in the room away to love them up. Cannot travel without her. Period. Tia B. My oldest sister runs the computery stuff for a really amazing international film/show streaming web service (think better than Netflix) called Drama…
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