whole parenting
Last Sunday was a real doozy. I awoke to my little nursling snarfling her way across our king-sized bed to find her liquid gold, checked the clock, and listened for the daily howling of my wolf pack. Happily surprised to find out it was already 6:50 and the howling had subsided, I nursed and started my mental check list. Mass. What time should we go today? How messy is the kitchen? Did I sweep the floor to combat the ant invasion we’ve been experiencing? Is that pee on my shirt or spit up? Is her diaper leaking? Am I leaking? After a happy milk-guzzling sesh, we both made our way out into the hallway, pausing to hear the howling and wrestling in the kitchen. Kids + Dad = happiness. Why don’t we just get dressed real quick like and go to the 7:30 mass? It’s the Old Rite, low mass, and fairly quick. We usually go to the 10am orchestral Latin New Rite. Can’t be that rough and we’re all awake and seemingly stable mental places. **seemingly** So off we went. The kids dove into semi-church clothes and given the early hour, I didn’t enforce our usual “dressiness on Sunday” standards. We were going to cruise in & out so Jesus would forgive me if my daughter wasn’t wearing a dress nor my sons their bowties. You can see where all my optimism is headed. Right off that cliff. We arrived at our century+ old church, the most gorgeous in all the land in my…
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My wee babe is four weeks old this week and I’m picking up on a project I was going to publish the day she was born, but didn’t have a chance to! You know how newborn life is. Sleep, poop, nurse, repeat. And with the other three kids in the mix, I’ll add “fend off invasive kissing and tugging and hugging” to that list. She’s very well beloved and despite me being down for the count in my own healing (which will take a while, according to my physical therapist), things are slowly taking the form of a new normal. One that has less sleep but more kisses! **knit dress by my friend Ginny (yarn shop)** **similar sweater** **mocs c/o FP** I partnered with Freshly Picked Mocs two years ago–was it already two years–to give away a pair to one of you lucky duckies and here we are again! I love Susan’s work and the company she’s built. Any mama-makers have a really special place in my heart. Here on the blog, I’m telling you about the new release of this incredible pattern. So hop on over to their site and take a looksie. They now have collections ranging from for your newest newest babe to hard soles for your little runner. This one is probably my favorite from their signature collection. Because how can you go wrong with gold? And I’m pretty sure I’d need this to go with those mocs. I think my toddler needs these when the snow…
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Our 102 year old house has two closets in the master//owner’s suite. One for the lady of the house complete with a sit-down-built-in-vanity-do-your-make-up and one for the gentleman to hang his suits. You can guess how often I sit to do my makeup at any vanity. It occurred to me that this dressing room wasn’t well suited even if I was able to fit all my clothing in there. And it occurred to me that although we co-sleep for a long time, this baby girl was going to need somewhere to be stashed for naps once she’s at that 6 month marker and needs more than sleeping in the sling. So I pinched my husband and dad into demo’ing it. And then a friend helped sheet rock & fit it with baseboards and the like. Then we had carpeting put in. Then this same handy friend made shelves after I had Shea and my sister Katie over to give me design input, and facetimed a million times with my mom & Molly in New York. Tah-dah. I give you: a new fav room in the house! The kids love to destroy it on a daily basis–I mean, help me make it cosy for her. Vase & Lights // Target boutique Doll // Dancy Pants Disco Dried flowers // party a year ago Yes, it looks like a dorm room. I think there’s a fine line between nursery decor & dorm room these days. George original prints // my sister, Katie!…
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Emily Rumsey Photography I think every mother, womb-grown & heart-grown, has this litany somewhere in their head: those things they wish they’d heard when they were anticipating the arrival of their baby and the thereafter. Those things they wished someone had told them. My list is pretty long. Probably because I was the first in my family to have a baby, and first in my immediate friend group to be pregnant, and had just moved prior to being pregnant so even those new moms I did know now lived far away from us. A few of my cousins who lived close by had young children and that helped! A few neighbors did, too. No one I worked with that I was close enough to ask things like why is this happening to my unmentionables?? I read a lot, and found community online where I could ask questions. Mostly I just plodded through, trial & error style. Some of these may resonate, some may not. Hopefully you’re hearing (or heard) what you needed to during your first transition! It can be physically hard to be pregnant, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. *** Not everyone who you think doesn’t have a baby, doesn’t have a baby. Lots of loss is invisible, from adoptive plans gone awry to miscarriage to fertility struggles. Don’t assume anything about other women’s bodies. *** It’s okay to feel emotionally out of whack, but if you’re having trouble with day-to-day functioning, tell your provider. You’re not whining. You…
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I got married at 26. I don’t have the experience to speak to a single lady who’s hoping to find the love of her life in her thirties, forties, fifties, or beyond because I didn’t live it. Attempting authenticity here, people. Stick with me. This is me, sneak eating an ice cream bar while my husband watches the kids. A super-sweet blog reader who is in her early twenties emailed me and asked for forward-looking advice. She’s clever, virtuous, and doing all the hard work of living authentically and developing her best self. I emailed her this (perhaps) shocking list of things I would tell a lady in her position to ponder on, looking ahead to being as prepared as one may be for marriage and kids. Unsolicited advice to the rest of you! Eat it up! I didn’t do all of these things, but some, and others I watched my friends endure. 1) Do lots of things you want to do, things that are on your heart. Travel, career, buy nice boots, color your hair, spent an entire month eating dark chocolate every day, whatever. You give up a hunk of your autonomy to your husband, and then the rest is shredded by small kids 😉 I joke a little, but truly. Don’t put off anything you feel called to spend money and time on, because those decisions will no longer be your own. 2) Pray specifically for a spouse who can handle your sh*t. That’s a crude way to…
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I love relaxing. I love thinking about it, planning it, dreaming it, but I don’t actually love doing it. In part because I’m constantly thwarted from pursing my side projects by the actual task of tending to and loving up and chastising my offspring. But in other part because I really want to do when I can. So if the moment arises to relax, I will probably huddle over my sewing machine or computer to write & edit instead. I know tomes are composed about the art of relaxation. I haven’t read any of them. But what I do know is that mamas need quick ways to rest and relax because you never know when the call will come from said offspring from the bowels of the bathroom MAMA I MADE A POOPY and off you go to the races again. Linking with Kelly and her better & cleverer writing friends! 1) Close your eyes and say I think I can I think I can. Just that little pep talk. It’s like attending a conference with motivational speakers without going anywhere. 2) Do you like your robe & slippers?? I finally landed on a combo I live in. Don’t judge. To have something you can retreat inside like a nuclear fall out shelter is pretty amazing. If you don’t like yours, keep looking. AA gave me a cotton robe similar to this for Christmas last year and Molly gave me these slippers. But I also love this robe. And these slippies. 3)…
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