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If your toddler also naps in the morning, when do you expect the bliss to end? J is 15 and a 1/2 months old. He still naps morning and afternoon, about two hours each. Before you hate me because my child likes sleeping, know that I think part is genetic (his dad is a sleep bear) and part is pure luck (he loves his bunny, his blanket, and his “bed”). When will this come to an end? At our 12 month visit, our family practice doc warned me that he would let me know when he was done with the morning nap. She predicted he’d fuss through the whole thing, or remain very alert and engaged in the morning, or just talk in his crib the whole time. So far, none of the above have transpired. We may be on the verge of it, though, as he does talk a great deal in his crib before passing out in the morning, maybe even 10 minutes of intermittent “bababa” and “gooogoo” and “ah-ball” before silence on the monitor. Will he just talk the whole time one of these days? Will I just know he’s done with morning naps? Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the time to work, write, nap, run errands if a family member is nearby, cook, clean, and whatever else the day requires. But I’m curious as to the evolution of this whole nap thing. I need some experienced parents to fill me in on the scoop and their…
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The midwife of modern midwifery is coming to talk about birth and her new book in the Twin Cities, Tuesday, November 15th from 6-8pm. The discussion will be held at the U of M’s Coffman Union’s Great Hall. See here for details: http://birthmattersminnesota.eventbrite.com. It’s hosted by the U of M Nurse-Midwifery & ACNM-Minnesota program. They had previously sold all the tickets, but reopened the event with 80 new seats. Tickets are $10 and selling like hot cakes! Get out the word if you want to hear a legend speak on a topic we all care about: why the birth process matters for mamas and babies. See you there!
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Parenting is the paradox of joy and challenge. We give, but receive more. We suffer, but love the source of the suffering. We rejoice, but stay grounded in the possibility of another tantrum or explosive diaper. No one I’ve met wished they hadn’t had their children in their lives. Many people prefer not to have them and don’t. What are a few things we give up to be parents? Why is it worth it? 1) The obvious ones we give up. Sleep. Time alone. Time with our partner uninterrupted. Disposable income for hobbies. No responsibility for a dependent. Autonomy. Ease of travel. This is a lengthy but completely non-comprehensive list. Why on earth would a rational being give up all these freedoms? I can only answer for myself: love and the perspective that life isn’t about self-fulfillment. In the long run, I’d rather have memories of the little kiss my son gives me after a long battle to change his diaper than more time reading alone. I’d rather watch he and his dad play croquet in the backyard than be skiing in San Moritz unfettered. I’d rather buy organic produce and make our food than eating out whenever I wanted to. I’d rather read all morning with J than be at the barn with my horses like I was pre-J. And I’d rather we lug a cooler full of organic produce and Super Baby Food to my in-laws, a 6 hour drive, than just hop on a plane and feed…
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Help! Who has or had a toddler that is emerging into tantrumhood? This novice mama is shocked to have her precious perfect son suddenly go on 8 minute crying fits for no apparent reason (or for a reason that usually wouldn’t ignite such fervor). Dr. Sears and every available website has told me a variety of things including: 1) Acknowledge and identify the child’s emotion. J has few words, so I try to provide them for him. “It seems like you are frustrated because mama wouldn’t let you hit her with a croquet mallet.” Or “I think you are angry because you don’t get to have more time outside.” I try to hug him, and say I understand, but that X is a part of life. 2) Ignore the behavior. So long as he’s in a safe place, I try to pretend like he’s not screaming and screeching. And keep narrating whatever we’re doing, getting ready for bed, putting food away, prepping food, whatever. This can be difficult as my frustration levels rise, but so far I haven’t shouted back. 3) Don’t punish him. Because he’s not specifically acting defiant, but more overreacting, most experts say not to punish the child or the behavior. Obviously when he wielded a croquet mallet in my general direction as I went to pick him up (after a “two minute” and “one minute” warning about playtime ending), he was firmly told that such behavior was no acceptable. But I’m not using time outs or…
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1) I know the joy at the end of the 9 months. After being so sick with SuperBoy, and then the fabulous fantastic meeting and getting to know him, the sickness with this little one pales in comparison. My mom used to tell me during pregnancy number 1 that it was “all worth it” and that I’d “forget all about the sickness and then pain of labor and delivery.” She was totally correct about the former, but probably a little off on the latter, as her own last l&d was 26 years ago 🙂 2) Ice cream. Don’t tell my doula or midwife–but I love that I can indulge my sweet tooth more than during non-pregnancy (okay, they’re supportive). I’m usually a very fitness-conscious person. But when I’m feeling so sick, I definitely let it slide a bit. I’m supposed to consume many grams of dairy a day, and I try to ensure that a few times a week ice cream is in the mix. Thanks to a dear girlfriend and her adorable son who came over for lunch today, my ice cream supply has been replenished! 3) Renewed sense of order. I’m not to the nesting urgency stage yet, but I already am making lists and eyeballing what needs to be brought back in order around the house. Things that the insanity of an infant/toddler just made me blind to. Like the linen closet that is crammed with God-knows-what-sized sheets. Like the medicine cabinet that has 15 year old…
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If your toddler is anything like mine, he or she swings, tugs, rolls, and shares everything with our two dogs. He also tries to bury his face into our two cats’ bellies, pick them up by their legs, and pet them on the face. How to tame this wild toddler? A few techniques that we use in our household to keep the animals and toddler happy. I’ve written about bringing a baby home to your pets, here, but a toddler is a whole new ball of wax! He did like his birthday horse back ride, though! (He’s his mother’s son 🙂 1) Designate “safe” pet areas–free from child. When our Great Dane is on her doggie bed in the corner of the kitchen, J is informed that she is having “private” or “alone” time and is not to be disturbed. Does he heed this? Not always, but he gets the point with the repetition of terms and tone of voice. The cats have ways of making themselves unavailable, but the toughest role falls to our little 20 pound miniature American Eskimo. She constantly trolls the kitchen floor to ensure every last morsel has been licked up, so her being on the move makes for an easier target than the others. She has a doggie bed as well, underneath an overhang that is somewhat protected, and we try to reiterate the “private” or “alone” time phrases when she is there. 2) Normalize the situation. J is so much more mobile…
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