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Dr. Strangelove, anyone? One of my dad’s favorites. And one we watched as children (and didn’t get, of course). Parenting is sometimes loving a bomb. Not to be confused with the 90’s term “da bomb.” Parenting is a tough joy, right? It’s the eternal paradox of “I-love-my-life and I-hate-my-life.” A friend’s blog said it perfectly the other day: Mothering Spirit “Conversations with Myself at 2am & 8am.” How do we come to more fully embrace the low lows and not just yearn for the perfect days? I have two thoughts to share on this. Big disclaimer though: I find parenting joyfully a continual and challenging goal to strive towards in my own vocation as a mama, so I don’t write this from a position of self-perceived superiority, by any means! 1) Count your blessings. If you are privileged enough to get pregnant without the assistance of medical technology, start with saying “thank you” there. If you can conceive a child, and carry that child full-term without undue medical problems, say another huge “thank you.” If your child is born free from developmental differences and challenges, you are blessed in a different way than parents of special children. If you are able to adopt a child the age you are hoping for, you are blessed. If your child survives infancy and childhood without life threatening or challenging medical conditions, say thank you. Lots of blessings counted so far. And we try to remind ourselves that being a parent, and a…
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This is part 3 in our Birth & Parenting Series. Part 1 (Thoughts From a Mother of Four) is here and part 2 (Mother of Seven Shares Her Empowering Birth Stories) is here. As a first-time mother, Anna G. shares about going through pregnancy, labor, and delivery with twins! She provides insight into preparing for the birth of twins, and sheds light on some of the myths and concerns about both caloric intake and birth. Her birth story is powerful, but most powerful is how she handled her particularly difficult immediate recovery. This is one tough mama whose story is both inspirational and moving. 1. Tell me a little bit about your beautiful children. I have two children, ages 3 and a half months. Yes, that means twins–a girl (Leah) and a boy (Lucas). Leah is older by 2 minutes. 2. When you first started to think about labor & delivery for your babies, how did you envision it going? Before I really knew anything, I envisioned it like this: A few days before my due date, I would be home late in the evening with my husband and suddenly it would happen–the first contraction. I would know with absolute certainty that the baby was coming. I would look at my husband and tell him, “Honey, it’s time.” Why that phrase? I have no idea–it is just what I think you say when you are in labor. My husband would then frantically call the doctor while simultaneously trying to change out…
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Everyone’s journey of pregnancy is different, and indeed, even the same mama can experience pregnancy differently with different children. There are many stereotypes of pregnancy: discomfort, irritability, nesting instinct, frequency of bathroom use, breakout, hair thickening, breast swelling, leg swelling, feet swelling, nausea, smell sensitivity, and the list goes on. Your particular body goes through its own cycle of hormonal increase during pregnancy so some of the aforementioned may pertain to you, and others may not. Five things that may change when you’re pregnant, and that did for me this time (who can remember last time?) around: 1) Procrastination habits change. God willing, your little baby will come into your family after a long (and short) 40 weeks, That means at some point you have to get the baby’s space ready, have some clothing purchased for him or her, have your little nest prepared, and face that long list of “must-do’s” before the fateful day! I wrote about pre-preparing for baby number 2 a while ago, and should probably face my real preparing now that I’m in the third trimester. Even though you’re busy at work, trying to get the rest of your life in order, don’t neglect the home front on a physical or metaphysical level. Stop procrastinating on projects because when you have an infant, they are almost impossible to finish. You have neither the impetus, nor care about that back hall closet that needs to be sorted through. Also, prepare your relationship or family for a new member. Invest lots…
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I’ll admit, when I first heard there was anything controversial about vaccines for infants and toddlers, I was surprised. Why wouldn’t everyone want their child immunized from such terrible things as polio, measles, chicken pox? I remember having the chicken pox as a little girl (the same day I came home from the doctor with the diagnosis, my little brother informed me that my imaginary best friend “Ben” was now his best friend. How can you forget a double-whammy like that?) and that it was quite unpleasant. The more I’ve read, and the more people I’ve talked with, the better I understand the vaccine debate. For many children, there’s no fall-out from vaccination, but for a small group, there can be serious reactions, or even life-changing or life-threatening ones. Mothering Magazine just began a forum for discussing vaccines, pros, cons, and the extended schedule. Check that out here. There are other great resources out there too, like the Vaccine Pro/Con website. And a plethora of very partisan blogs and websites. And then there’s the pervasive Autism-Vaccine concern. Huffington Post had a great article up last year by David Kirby that discussed why the concern over the link between the two hasn’t yet gone away. Most pediatricians are pro-vaccine on the regular schedule as recommended, a few are not. Most parents have an opinion one way or the other. We chose to vaccinate J on the regular schedule, with the exception of Hep B as a newborn. He just began…
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Molly W, who’s guest posted before on Pregnancy Fitness, joins us again with her thoughts on elimination communication, the training system for young babies and early toddlers to learn to signal their bathroom needs. Her daughter, V, is a little over 5 months old and they are glad they’re trying it out! What is Elimination Communication? I’ll admit it. I had to google it after I first heard of it from a friend who’s postpartum doula. I imagined an idyllic world where naked babies were the norm and poopy diapers a thing of the (more barbaric) past. I was already mentally accepting congratulations for having potty trained our daughter V by one year. After 5 months of EC’ing our baby V, we aren’t quite living that dream, but we get closer every day. As Diaper Free Baby will tell you, EC is not potty training. It’s parent training. Basically, as a parent or care giver, you watch your little ones signs closely and begin to predict when they are going to eliminate. Then you hold them above a receptacle (sink mostly in our case now that she has good head control) (or little bucket as pictured above) and make cueing sounds. Pssst for pee, little grunts for poo. Why these sounds other than the fact they are hilarious? Because they are easy for your baby to associate with the two kinds of elimination. The theory is that eventually, as your baby becomes more self aware and improves their sphincter control,…
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Here’s part 2 in our Birth & Parenting Series. See part 1 (Thoughts from a Mother of Four) here. This is an interview with a wonderful friend and very busy mother to seven beautiful children, Halyna K. She’s a mother who strove for unmedicated births with all her children, and went sans meds with six of the seven! She shares with us about what her birthing experiences were and encourages women to try to let go of the fear that accompanies birth and flow with the process. Although she’s a self-proclaimed “worry-wort,” talking with her about her amazing strength and ability to not give in to the birth phobia we all experience on some level elevates her to “super-mama” in my book! 1. Tell me a little bit about your beautiful children. I have 7 children, ranging from 13 years old to 19 months. The order is girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, girl, and boy. 2. When you first started to think about labor & delivery for your babies, how did you envision it going? Well, I don’t think I had a clear vision with my first. I think I was like any first time mom, you really don’t know how hard it is until it happens. But I did envision everything going “smoothly” and having no complications (which didn’t end up happening). 3. You had your births in different settings: hospital, birth center, water, and I think maybe a home birth in there? What are the pros and cons of…
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