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What do I need at the hospital or birth center? What don’t I need? I’m no expert with a mere two births under my belt (what does that phrase mean, anyway??), but here are my suggestions based on common wisdom and my experience. *Don’t forget your doula!! 1) Clothing. No, it is not a nudist colony. Yes, bringing your own clothing means you don’t have to wear the world’s worst outfits: hospital gowns. And have you seen their “nursing” gowns? They are hospital gowns with two slits for your breasts. Um, skin-to-skin, anyone? How can your baby optimize his latch when he can’t smell your milk through all the bleached cotton? Bring: cotton robe (maybe 2) ((I got one at Target for not much–not full-length)) socks you like when walking on cold floors (2-3 pair . . . birth is a wet business) nursing bras (for a little breast support) yoga or sweat pants (for when you arrive and leave) shirts that open in the front (I forgo nursing tops for the first long while–open up that shirt and have your unclothed baby on your chest!) swimtop for water birth & swim suit for your partner Don’t bother with underwear as they’ll provide you with these lovely enormo disposables numbers. 2) For your care. gel pads for your nipples nursing pads heating/cooling pack (see mine here) water bottles food you can eat & snack on (let’s be honest, some hospital food is terrrrrrrrible) playlist on a CD or your smartphone…
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Even people who don’t like their mother, need their mother when they have a baby. Truly. If you’re thinking to yourself, “but really, I just want to snuggle with my partner & babe. My mom will constantly be interrupting our peaceful new family”–you’ve clearly never had a newborn. There’s nothing more peaceful and simultaneously less peaceful than a newborn. *Caveat: if your mom isn’t super helpful to begin with, and you really don’t want to share new baby time with anyone, disregard all of this advice and just gaze at my adorable little SweetPea’s photo. People think that if they have a loving and supportive partner, they don’t need their mother. The two are not mutually exclusive. Consider the following facts that support Mother’s presence–qualifications that your partner simply can’t embody. 1) Fact #1: Moms have had babies before. Yes, even if it was only a one-time occurrence, your mother had you. That means she knows about tearing, hemorrhoids, bleeding, nipple pain, exhaustion, postpartum depression, and hating everything in the world while simultaneously loving everything in the world, especially your little angel-by-day, devil-by-night. Remember my postpartum health tips? Mom should be on that list! Moms know if the baby’s color is normal, if the poop is normal, and how to put on the diaper. They also know what baby stuff you actually need and what is modern materialism at its finest. They know how to swaddle, soothe, and bathe a newborn. Have you ever looked at a newborn’s umbilical cord…
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Surely you’ve heard the phrase “skin-to-skin” contact with your newborn. You haven’t? You’re not alone. I was 7 months along with our first before someone mentioned it to me in passing. Skin-to-what? And now my daughter is almost three weeks old and hasn’t worn clothing except for when she had to leave the house. She’s always wrapped up in a blanket or on one of our chests for skin-to-skin! Refrain from separating your child from you, especially when he or she is snoozing. Just keep close to the little one! It’s wonderful for both of you. This scientifically proven method of bonding with your newborn child is both beautiful and bio-meta-physically powerful. It is when you put your newborn on your chest as close to after birth as possible, and that contact has a deep impact on you both. It makes initiating breastfeeding easier, stabilizes the baby’s temperature, calms the baby after the big entry into the world!, and actually regulates ex-utero brain development. The baby was close to her mother for 9 months, and to separate her from the sounds, smells, and other sensations of closeness is just sad. This is also why we wear our child. Here’s a beautiful table from Skin to Skin’s website on what exactly it is: Skin-to-skin contact is A PLACE SSC is a place where CARE is provided! Our *care* does not change… it is a place where any *care* we give works with our biology. Skin-to-skin contact is OUR BIOLOGY It…
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What’s best for healing and adjusting to a new family member? Take care of your body, rest, relax as much as you can, and snuggle with your baby. A midwife friend of mine calls the first few weeks a period of “lying in” wherein you do as little as you can around the house, leave the scurrying and worrying to your family and friends who come to help, and just bond with your new family member. Be as present as you can! Here are a few things that have helped me acclimate to a new child, and recover faster. 1) Soak in the tub. Sitz bath, tub, whatever you’ve got. Just soaking for 8-15 minutes in a warm water tub will greatly aid in postpartum healing. After my first birth I posted about bath salts here. It’s a great little recipe for bath salts, but even just plain old warm water has healing properties. Try to get in the tub every day for a few minutes for the first few weeks, or as necessary. Yes, if you have any tearing, it is going to hurt to go to the bathroom. Use the peri bottle that the hospital or your provider gives you. Have it filled with warm water so it’s ready to go when you are. You may experience the funny thing that when you need to use the toilet, you need to use it NOW. If you have any bruising, it is going to hurt to sit down, sit…
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Wear your baby! I’ve written about different carriers before, here, but having a new baby again reminds me that the initial hassle of getting a sling or wrap on is worth it. Your babe is close to you, your hands are free, and you can immediately comfort or tend to her without worrying about crossing the kitchen. Best of all, it carries her close to your heart, breath, and helps her through what they call “the fourth trimester” or the first three months of life which are a sort of continuation of life in the womb. Read a very thorough article on wearing your baby over at the UK publication Green Parent (here). It gives an overview of traditions of baby wearing internationally along with a list of all the health benefits. Want your baby to cry less, sleep better, and be more engaged with the world? Wear her! I’ve promoted my friend’s wraps before–Rockin’ Wraps–and gotta say, I just love her work. It’s similar to a Moby wrap, but rather stretchier and beautifully crafted. Support homegrown mama artists! She hand designed this wrap for me with a horse head, due to my love of the equine. Thanks, Larissa! See my girlfriend’s blog post here about different carriers on her blog, Natural Mommas. Her assessment is very thorough!
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The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of nursing, playing, activity, sleep, and no sleep. People always told me going from no children to one child was the greatest leap, but second to that is the jaunt from one child to two. And it is quite a trip. As noted, AA was fortunate enough to have a week off work (Paternity Leave!) wherein he could help me with all my postpartum healing needs (draw me baths, fetch me water, assure me my eyes won’t have these enormous circles under them forever), snuggle with our darling girl, and keep SuperBoy entertained and from going mad with being cooped up indoors. He’s back at work this week and I’m discovering the many joys and challenges to having two children. 1) Challenge: you cannot hold your second child skin-to-skin constantly like you did your first. It seems that as soon as I settle into a chair with SweetPea, skin-to-skin, SuperBoy would like help getting his Army guys out of his cupboard, or he suddenly needs me to go and look for Squirrel Nutkin out the back door, or the doorbell rings and it’s the delivery man. Skin-to-skin is very crucial for a number of reasons, to be discussed in a post later this week, but mostly she is getting her quality skin-to-skin either when she nurses or at night when SuperBoy is passed out in his crib. 2) Joy: your firstborn wants your secondborn to also kiss his boo-boos. Pretty precious when…
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