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It is a state of mind, ladies. Says the 20 week pregnant woman. Finding out gender on Friday! Where was I when I was this pregnant with SweetPea–(oh, wait, that was 33 weeks)? And it wasn’t until my recent trip to ny to help my sister Molly with her new baby girl (LOVE HER!!!) that I realized this. It’s a state of mind. Walking the Brooklyn streets to run errands for my sister, or up to the doctor’s office with her, I marveled. The women in Brooklyn look chic. In their snowcoats. With their boots and hats on. Pushing a stroller, dragging a doggie, or sipping a latte. They looked like they either cared about their appearance, or they thought they were hot stuff despite it. Lesson learned for me: believe you’re hot. Do it. So that means if you’re wearing yoga pants and a nursing bra (despite ceasing nursing months and months ago) (oh, yeah, the non-underwire one), care enough to add earrings. And a normal shirt. Not one that requires ironing after you wear it, mind you. But not one that has holes or stains, or an unflattering midsection. If you’re newly pregnant, relax. You get a pass. If you’re newly a parent, relax. You do too. The rest of us do not. I repeat: do not get a pass. Beyond the basics of hygiene, thanks to my Tia Ali for the space heater in my bathroom that enables more frequent showers, and dressing yourself beyond the look of…
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Or so says SuperBoy when talking about Advent. We’ve begun a new season, we Catholics. It’s Advent, the four weeks before Christmas where we try to prepare our hearts for the birth of our Savior. It also is a frantic time for everyone, right? Holiday gifts, parties, baking, a quick scurry to thank everyone in your life, Do Good Diapers, the postman, the vendors who stock my goods in their sweet stores (Teeny Bee Boutique, Peapods, Brooklyn Herborium, Creative Kidstuff, Green Mom Guide), my Godfather, my kids’ Godparents, everyone. My girlfriend Laura wrote a great post about the how advent is a frenzy, but instead of freaking out, we can embrace the chaos. I’m all about that. My sister had another girl yesterday! Another sweet niece! And I head out to visit her for a week and hopefully help with the chaos of going from one child to two. My December chaos feels more proximate because when I come home, all those presents need to be ready, all that planning won’t have room to procrastinate. Let’s just say me + Amazon have been busy the last week or so. Now to find wrapping paper. With all this flurry going on, and still being vomit-queen of pregnancy at 18 weeks, when SuperBoy talks about getting the garden of his heart cleaned up so that God can come and visit, I say, pull out the weeds, compost it up, and let’s dig in. We always talk about our relationship to God like…
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On facebook the other day, a friend linked to an article in Cosmo, of all places, about a woman’s experience with her abortion and subsequent testimony before the hearings in Texas on limiting abortions on a number of fronts, including no abortions after 20 weeks unless the life of the mother was in grave harm. The author described her difficult road of infertility and after treatments, voila! A baby girl on the way! Much rejoicing. Until at 19 weeks she learned her daughter had spinal bifida, a serious medical condition needing multiple surgeries, and probably a slew of other health conditions related to it. She wouldn’t have a healthy baby. Her daughter wouldn’t have a normal life. She opted to abort her daughter, citing the horror of a bad medical condition, the difficulty their family would face, and the awful quality of her daughter’s life. She and her husband were comfortable with their decision, and wanted to ensure that other families faced with this knowledge after 20 weeks could opt for the same. This isn’t a post about being pro-life or pro-choice or anti-choice or pro-abortion, whatever you want to call it. I really was struck by the notion of how a medical diagnosis could set the value on human life. On the worth of the child. On the decision to keep or not to keep. When people are handicapped or developmentally different or special needs, are they as valued by us? Not by our society as a blanket whole,…
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You see those maternity clothing ads: svelte woman who happens to have a tiny bump looking glamorously out the window, and you think: that should be me pregnant. Then you are pregnant. Maybe it’s your first or your seventh. So maybe these inroads have already been carved, and maybe they haven’t. Each pregnancy is different, you gain and carry weight differently, you feel sick at different intervals, and thusly, my thoughts apply to first & seventh pregnancies, right? I have a whole section on pregnancy. See it all here. I’m in my third pregnancy and watching my body change before my very eyes. In some ways I’m rejoicing because finally, at 15 weeks, you can really tell I’m pregnant. But in other ways, I’m freaked out. Everything is going to stretch and push out again. I cannot get away from my own body and/or baby. I have a long way to go still! Five important things to remind yourself when your pregnant body is freaking you out: 1) Weight gain is good. Say you’ve been athletic, fit, and in shape your whole pre-baby life. Say you’ve struggled with food pre-baby. Say you worked really hard to be at a weight you felt was healthy and comfortable. Then it all goes out the window. You are gaining weight!! Your thighs are squishing together! Your butt is riding up your back! Your chest–well, that’s a bonus, I guess–is giving you that she-doesn’t-buy-the-right-bra-size look. And you just look like you’re wearing an inner-tube…
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You know I love doulas. Big big big fan over here. Doesn’t matter if you’re planning meds, being with your whole family, homebirth, hospital, whatever. You and your partner will greatly benefit from the help and attention of a doula. I’ve had one with all three and this is with a very involved and supportive husband! Dads for Doulas post here, Why You Need a Doula post here. You’re Pregnant, Now What here. SuperBoy’s birth story, SweetPea’s, and BabyLove’s. If you like birth stories . . . Here’s my list of questions to ask when you’re interviewing a doula. Some may sound abrupt, so you fill in the nice parts. Others may not apply for your circumstances. The biggest key is chemistry between you & the person. Even if they’ve only attended a few births, if you feel like they’ll be your advocate and helper, go for it over the one who’s been doing it forever but you feel isn’t listening to your specific needs. Zee Questiones: 1) What are your fees and what do they encompass insofar as prenatal and postpartum visits? Do you do a standard available-2-weeks-before-due-date-and-after in case I am early or late in delivery? 2) Who provides backup services for you and do you compensate them? 3) If you miss my birth due to unforeseeable circumstances, but your backup is there, is there any change in the fee structure? 4) Are you DONA certified? Why or why not? How many births have you attended? 5) Have…
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Pioneer Woman Broccoli Cheese Soup. Recipe here. Mods below: I didn’t have half-and-half so just whole milk all the way (as that’s all we drink these days anyway). I also shredded our favorite Vermont cheddar for the three cups–Costco special. That’s it. Vitamix that bad boy up and ENJOY! Smitten Kitchen Classic Cobb Salad Recipe here. Some modifications below. I didn’t use blue cheese because I hate it. Feta all the way, baby. Also, why peel the tomatoes (too much work) when they are fresh from the garden and so crunchy? ENJOY and serve again and again and again. Molly’s Chicken Parm We’ve established my sister Molly and her husband Aron are the best in the kitchen. This is their easy chicken parm recipe served with freshly made french dressing over butter lettuce. Prep your chicken pieces (breast, thigh, wing) and then dip in bowl 1, 2, and 3. Bowl 1: 1/2 cup freshly grated parm or pecorino, 1/2 cup italian breadcrumbs, 2 sprigs parsley chopped; Bowl 2: 2 eggs beaten; Bowl 3: 1/2 cup flour, salt & pepper. Place in a very hot skillet with butter & olive oil (Roman style) and flip after about 4 mins on each side or when the crust is nice and golden. Arrange in a baking dish in the oven (or a cookie sheet, whatevs) at 300 for about 10 mins until cooked through. Don’t disturb that crust if you don’t have to. Serve over red leaf lettuce, or butter lettuce, chopped with…
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