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Sleep sleep sleep. It’s the obsession of parents. If you have one child, maybe you got lucky and he’s a super sleeper. If you have two children, chances are that at least one is a crumbum sleeper. Or at least when they teethe. Or they grow. Or they are sensitive to their sheets, or the color of their walls, or the company that’s allowed with them in bed (me, AA, baby dolls, baby Jesus, baby bunny, NOT her brother’s bunny). If you have more than two, you’ve probably come up with a sleep system that works for your whole household and involves some kind of cry-it-through-I-can’t-deal-with-this-you-have-to-sleep-now when they reach a little bigger baby size. I keep this whole section on sleep, with articles like (from oldest to newest): Establishing sleep rituals; Toddler night sleep trouble; Morning toddler nap: when does it end?; Co-sleeping with your babe; Ousting the co-sleeper; Moving to a big boy bed; A sleep sampler: infancy through 12 months sleep tips; Toddler quiet time. Now I’ve got two bigger little kids and balancing their sleep can be tricky. SweetPea is straight forward. She goes down at 10 and 2 for 1 1/2 or 2 hour naps each day, and starts bedtime routine at 7:30, lights out by 8. She never wakes up at night anymore. Thank GOD since she’s the child who woke up every night of her life for the first 13-14 months. Sometimes she protests her naps, but she always goes down within 3-5 minutes at the very max. If she’s hysterical during,…
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Our amazing 100 year old house has a library with built-in shelves. Yes, ample reading space & material (and yes, took this pic before the winter whereas now the windows are covered in sheets of ice. On the inside). But I end up always reading these: I was an English major. You know the kind in college. The annoying kind of wanted to talk about reading and what she was reading and what other people were reading and where the AWP conference was going to be held this year, and which writers groups she was a part of, and how she loved poetry! Oh gawsh, don’t you want to read my thesis that’s a creative writing manuscript?? Then I realized I either had to give up horses (oh no!) and work at being a poet, or I could explore law school (yuck!) and then realistically afford my very expensive habit. With many tears shed, I reluctantly took the LSAT (read Rilke during the break and ate a banana), chose between the law schools I got in to (2 out of 2 applied to–whoopie!), and cried the whole 12 hour drive to Michigan. I didn’t know a soul in the state and didn’t want to be a lawyer. I thought I could hold my breath for three years and still be a little poet at heart. Then I fell in love. With the school. With my friends. With the community. And didn’t just survive with bated breath, but thrived! Trouble is,…
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the kiddos, my mom, and my awesomest Tia Ali living it up on the lake It’s true. I’ve written about them before {Five Simple Steps to a Healthier You}. I’ve sworn I’ll drink that gallon of water that the internet is ablaze about that we’re supposed to be drinking per day (per DAY, not bathing in, drinking up). I’ve sworn I’ll not eat after 7pm. Not even Grand Ole Creamery Mac Daddy ice cream. And I’ve promised not to blog in my pajamas when my kids are busy destroying each other’s lego castles. But even so, even though I suck at New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve done them again. Come over to my monthly contribution to Rachel’s Day-2-Day Joys and read all about post holiday health recovery. I’ll tempt you with this great line: “When you’ve sugared out, and your kiddos have too, it’s time to detox before New Years so you can get a smooth start on your resolutions to eat less sugar, and work out more. Wait, that’s your plan too?? Who doesn’t have that resolve (at least til February)? Maybe you can put this off til after New Years, if you’re going to be at home on vacation, eating those leftover cookies.” I do link to some of my go-to-recipes, and other links that have saved the food day, workout day, and spiritual day. C’mon over.
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This is a common question when friends & family learned I’m expecting our third (boy!) and I’m (gasp!) only thirty years old. And the answer is quite simply: I don’t know! Grace over at Camp Patton wrote a great piece about number of kids, Lindsay over at My Child, I Love You wrote a great one about why most families have 2 kids, and my girlfriend Rachel wrote about fear of the larger family for Crisis Magazine. A little better reading for your minds! Most of my lawyer mama friends have one child, and maybe have two. Very few of them have families larger than three. It’s pretty impossible to juggle a career as an attorney, if both parents are working, and three children. I worked part-time through having one child and that was a challenge. Kuddos to the ladies who are open to children + lawyering because it’s really tough! I was recently at a lawyer girlfriend’s baby shower. It was a change of pace for me to be in a room of other female attorneys–and lots of them. Most people were politely surprised to learn I was pregnant with my third, not practicing, and so young, relatively speaking. A few years back, I would have felt uncomfortable, or like I needed to justify my life choices. At this point, I was delighted to have interesting lawyer conversations and field any larger-family-related questions. It was like my belly was evangelizing. Most of my natural world & religious mama friends…
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Did you survive? We survived! But the real key is how am I going to survive without eating all the faux-Nut Goodie Bars my sister Bridget concocted that are peanut-free. Let’s just say I’m wolfing them down. I’m sure you have no food vices whatsoever around the holidays. The biggest delight was having a great priest friend come for our sit-down-formal-china dinner on Christmas Eve. He’s 85 and sharp as a whip. His voice is so dramatic and well modulated that you could listen to it forever. He happens to be one of SuperBoy’s favorite people in the universe as well. SweetPea did a lot of peeking from my shoulder and then burying her face every time he tried to talk to her. You know this age–all fuss & flirt. After our hard earned meal, we retired to the library for a little quiet while SuperBoy & his Dada & Baba looked for Santa in the attic. You know, while mom and I and my sisters hustled all the gifts out and shoved them under the tree. It was a flurry & flash. Alack! They missed Santa’s exit up the chimney by mere shades of seconds, but somehow he and Rudolf had their cookies & milk. Don’t ask why Rudolph also had come down the chimney. Christmas Midnight Mass at our beloved St. Agnes would have been amazing, but this pregnant woman passed out, ne’er to be awakened before 8:30am Christmas morning so we slacked and went to the noon…
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It’s so simple. But I’ve got it. The secret to having your kid turn out great. I mean GREAT! Outstanding. His or her best self. It’s so simple I almost shouldn’t tell you and make you guess. I’ve arrived at this secret after hours and hours of analyzing parenting styles and habits. If I know you, you may have been part of my secret study. Sorry. And it’s pretty basic. And I’m sure I’m right. Ready? Pay attention to your child. Mind blown? Me too. Here’s why. The experts offer a million different styles and solutions to your child’s developmental and behavioral antics. But every single one’s suitability depends on who your child actually is. You can only make the appropriate determinations if you’ve been paying attention to your child. Not who you to who think your child should be, or how you want them to act. Observe first; then match temperament with style selection. If you are attentive, you’ll make the best decisions you can on discipline, nutrition, and love. The mere fact you’re paying attention, whether you’re a lax or strict parent, means your child is getting you from you. And that’s (almost) all they need to thrive. And it’s almost all you need to be a good parent. The attentive parent is inevitably introspective. You kinda have to be. Because you make determinations based on observations. And then have to draw some conclusions. And then have to form some opinions. And then have to implement them. Case…
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