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I have read a few articles lately about gender inequalities at home–where moms, including working moms, foist the bulk of household work onto their capable shoulders either due to lack of cooperation from spouses or their absence. It got me thinking about how we divvy up household work so that my sons and daughter see mama and dada working together. When we were first together, before we got married, we talked about how we envisioned our lives in the actual day-to-day. As we were both working, the days were filled with motions, appeals, and paperwork. The evenings were divvied up with cooking and tidying and errand running. We fell into a pattern of who liked to do what, and who hated doing something the least, and who was good at what. We also did almost everything together because we were newlyweds without kids. Add three small kids and me eventually staying home and the paradigm shifted. We are in a pattern now that’s working. Maybe you’re in flux of juggling work & little babes and tots and household duties are ready to break you, as they have been me. (a few snaps from instagram.) 1) list out what you love & what you hate. You know I love a good list. We broke it into things we loved and things we hated. I love cooking. He hates dealing with anything technological in the house. Once we had basic allocations of hates and loves, we knew we were in the ballpark…
Read MorePeople ask me about how I make time for sewing when my life sounds like a zombie zookeeper’s. Okay, so I made that description up. But I do get asked it a lot. I make baby & tot leggings, bibs, burp cloths, skirts, blankets, and banners at Whole Parenting Goods. First, I wrote this about starting an etsy shop. Then I wrote this about what I’ve learned about being a “maker.” But today I’m musing about the actual logistics of how I make the time in my life with no time to sew. 1) all work and no (sewing creative play) means I’m a dull girl. Because I’m driven to make by my desire to continue to feed that creative part of me, I find the time no matter what. It’s not every day, but I’m always scheming something new, plotting something fun, or daydreaming about how I’m going to finish that seam, someday. I know I need a break when I’m not interested in getting to my machine. Sometimes that means I need to take my precious few minutes of creative time and handle some fabric instead, look at my grandmother’s box of old patterns, or scroll pinterest. Changing it up can freshen me so that when I go back to churning through orders, I don’t get bleh-ey. Something many mama artisans don’t talk about is that it can be a drag at times to finish the orders. Start them? Exciting. Finish the finishing touches? Tough. Especially if you are…
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I feel like a broken record. Didn’t I just write a post about finding satisfaction right where I am? Did I? I wrote about making where I am awesome. Maybe that’s what I’m thinking of. But with every few months in the lives of parenting littles, times change. I even chatted with Brigid and Elise on the Caritas Podcast about how something as basic as how I approach Lent as a Catholic has changed since I had kids. Listen to it here and read the show notes here. As being a mom is already challenging (yes, I still give up treats as is our family tradition), I no longer have to find things that are penitential haha (mass with small kids. enough said). I’m dissatisfied with a number of things about my life. And I was even more sick of hearing me b*tch about them, over and over again. My house is untidy, I’m out of shape and compulsively eating fudge <<before lent!!>>, I don’t sleep enough, often dinner isn’t made or made well. So I drew a big ole list up. What I want to change Followed by another list. How I am going to do it I did have to face the reality that somethings got crossed off. I’m just not going to get to them. And that’s okay. I tackled what I could and made a plan. Reading Better than Before is really helping me with making new & better habits, too. 1) Cluttered House. We planned…
Read MoreMy baby really isn’t a baby anymore. He’s 21 months and talking, running, slapping, laughing, and as of the other week, no longer nursing. This is the first time since I was pregnant with my oldest (over six years ago now!) that I haven’t been nursing or pregnant. There’s a bittersweetness there. Kathryn wrote about her youngest weaning and I nodded along with all her musings. Nursing doesn’t work for everyone. Some people don’t want to breastfeed, for others it doesn’t work out despite their best attempts, and still for others, they do a little of both bottle & breast and it works for them. I fully support FED IS BEST. Yup. For me, nursing has been deeply, achingly wonderful. My daughter had a tough time starting out at it, but the boys have been pretty fine, and dare I say, after BabyLoves was born at a whopping 10 pounds and I was so out of it with endometritis (uterus infection) and bad tearing, that when he latched and it didn’t hurt I thought, maybe an excruciatingly large baby has its pros? People asked about weaning as he was the first I *tried* to actually wean. My oldest self-weaned at 14 months and my second at 19 months. But this little man was about 18 months when I went on a “sistermoon” with my sister Molly. That’s when you abandon your children and husband and go live it up on the beach with your sister (or sleep in a LOT and eat food…
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I’m an English major with a creative writing emphasis. And a lawyer. {and new hair!!} But all I want to read is behavioral psychology and child-rearing books. And self-help. Didn’t I write about this last year? I guess you can say it’s diversified? It used to be all Sharon Olds poems, and then all SCOTUS decisions {RIP, Scalia!}. Now it’s all Dr. Sears. Colleen asked what I’m reading now and I took this selfie. Yes, an English major said “selfie.” {{hides face in shame}} And yes, sometimes your almost four year old girl needs to be calmed down by carrying her in the carrier the tot won’t even go in anymore! // Better than Before // I LOVE GRETCHEN RUBIN. Gretchen, if you somehow read this late one night when you’re scrolling trackbacks to your blog, know you have a real fan over here. Love all your books. This one is all about identifying how we make decisions, and then how those form into habits. And how to make new habits. // The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up // Marie Kondo. Admittedly, there are some very odd parts to this. I don’t agree with the extreme anthropomorphism of personal belongings. It does not resonate with me. But I do agree that one must be merciless and detailed when examining whether or not our closets, attics, and wardrobes really need to bulge at the hinges. It’s a quick read and helpful if you’re on the cusps of decluttering. // The Collapse…
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This little lady. She’s something else. My three kids are 5 and a half, 3 and three quarters, and 1 and five eighths. I’m making up the fractions, approximately. Don’t sue me. The days at home with them have gotten easier in many ways. When I had three under four, I was really harried and often desperate for any reprieve I could find {blog, sew, blog}. Now that I’m breathing a little more deeply, I am trying to do certain things with each kid throughout the day. Of course there are all these studies about being present to your children, and what happens when they’re raised in the era of mama having a smartphone. But beyond those potential black holes for guilt, I just want to be mindful of a few things with them. So I’m reading this book by one of my favorite authors and hoping to change somethings into habits. 1) hug and kiss copious times. My boys are more inclined for physical touch than my little lady–so I have to remind myself to smother her with affection too even when it’s not her first love language. I told them their kisses are stored up in my soul and will be with me forever. Jesus, make that true. 2) laugh with them, even when I’m totally faking it. I don’t feel like being goofy or entertaining or fun or funny that often. I often wish they would listen the first time and stop squirming. I’m finding that goofing around when…
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