Kidding
A friend just messaged me about being pregnant with number three. Did I have any tips on preparing oneself? I had to laugh a little because my pregnancy has been so rough in so many ways that getting it through and done is the biggest part of preparing myself for three, four & under! Then I thought about it a little more. How did we know we were ready for another life, or the possibility of it? How was I crazy enough to embark on throwing up for weeks and weeks on end? And then the capstone: wanting no pain meds for labor?? The answer is that you have to leap, always, when you’re open to more kids. There will be unknowns and unexpecteds. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth. There will be floods of joy over your porous heart. Porous because they keep stabbing you in it. I also hate being pregnant, but know it’s not a disease and I’ll get over it (as my paternal grandmother used to tell my mom and her five miserable pregnancies). How I’ve actually prepped myself for three kids? A few of the following, but lots of ice cream, lying in bed when I could be productive, and letting my husband play rough house with the kids right before actual bedtime. 1) Get help. Now. My family is awesome. They’re really about as close to perfect as you could get. Devoted & doting grandparents, super involved aunties & uncles, and many…
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Okay, so death is not really on the line. Maybe more like screaming and shrieking to death. That’s probably the biggest risk involved here. And my hearing. My sanity? My own patience? Anyone with two kids aged over 1 and over 3 have witnessed this: SuperBoy playing happily with one truck. He zooms it. He shoves things into it. He talks to himself about what it’s doing. He proudly tells me what it’s doing “going to mass and then to the baseball game to bring the players their communion.” Doo dee doo. SweetPea enters the scene. She had been happily coloring all over a coloring book from the 80’s (90’s?) from the thrift store. You know, long stripes of crayon in an erratic fashion. I glance over at it and wonder “should I be reinforcing circles, counter clockwise? Is this another example of her happily learning and experiencing on her own or am I supposed to intervene. If she were at pre-school, would a certified teacher be correcting her?” Then I decide that’s part of why she’s not at pre-school. And that if I get up, everything will hurt. She pops up and over to see where his truck is going. Suddenly it happens. She shrieks before she sweeps. Like an eagle. Out of the sky. Onto its tiny mouse prey. And the tousle starts. NO NO IT’S MINE! he shouts as she full-body embraces the truck, splaying over it like that mean kid who licked all the cupcakes at the party so no one…
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And I mean for when the baby is out–not in. I don’t say pediatrician because you don’t necessarily need one. We saw a ped for the first year of SuperBoy’s life and then made the switch to a family practice doc. She’s fabulous, sees the kids, me, and if I ever get AA to take a morning off to go in, him too. And the clinic is four minutes from our house. With parking. Dream for a mom who’s pregnant and always a tad late. But I digress. When you’re pregnant, if you’re reading all those lists of things to do books or sites, they’ll say, find a pediatrician. Then they’ll give you 50 questions to ask him or her before you actually join their practice. I’m going to give you an abbreviated list from a mom of two. My list is shorter because I’ve learned what’s actually a big deal to me, and what’s not. I also have a doctor for my own dad so that eliminates about half of my office visits because he tells me a) it’s a heat rash or b) the swelling will go down. First time parents, you’ll need to develop your own doctor mom or doctor dad intuition and probably (like me!) call or visit the clinic over things that turn out to be, well, not life & death. I’ll break it down into categories: 1) Location If you have to drive a ton to get everywhere anyway, having your doc’s office a…
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So yes, it’s irreverent to swear, but you’ve seen all those videos and links to stuff that a random group of people says (Crunchy Moms being my personal fav). Well my own kids say insanely crazy things because they’re Catholic and heavily indoctrinated. We participated in the adopt-a-seminarian program with our archdiocesean seminary last year and LOVE our adopted son. He’s also a total hero in the household where my kids think everything church related is the best. Here we go: SweetPea, our precious 21 month old, who is a holy terror and has a fierce temper. : HAPPY NUN! HAPPY NUN! (upon seeing our pastor) : No! CHESUS MINE! (upon snatching our Jesus doll made by this awesome etsy artisan Saintly Silver) : Gwo ta it a da maaatin CHESUS Kyst s burrn (Go Tell it on the Mountain Jesus Christ is Born) : Chesus wuves me dis I know! NO! ME! (not her brother, apparently) SuperBoy, our three and a half year old who plays mass daily, and can turn any normal family event into a sing-at-the-top-o-your-lungs-in-latin-fest. : This is my thurible and I can swing it upside down for incencing. : In the New New Rite: I just say Corpus when I give you communion. : You’re not folding the chalice veil right AND YOU’RE NOT PUTTING IT IN THE BURSE RIGHT!!! : Where do we go potty in Heaven? Wherever we want? : When I’m in Heaven, I’ll be good, but not too good. : Santa came to…
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Sleep sleep sleep. It’s the obsession of parents. If you have one child, maybe you got lucky and he’s a super sleeper. If you have two children, chances are that at least one is a crumbum sleeper. Or at least when they teethe. Or they grow. Or they are sensitive to their sheets, or the color of their walls, or the company that’s allowed with them in bed (me, AA, baby dolls, baby Jesus, baby bunny, NOT her brother’s bunny). If you have more than two, you’ve probably come up with a sleep system that works for your whole household and involves some kind of cry-it-through-I-can’t-deal-with-this-you-have-to-sleep-now when they reach a little bigger baby size. I keep this whole section on sleep, with articles like (from oldest to newest): Establishing sleep rituals; Toddler night sleep trouble; Morning toddler nap: when does it end?; Co-sleeping with your babe; Ousting the co-sleeper; Moving to a big boy bed; A sleep sampler: infancy through 12 months sleep tips; Toddler quiet time. Now I’ve got two bigger little kids and balancing their sleep can be tricky. SweetPea is straight forward. She goes down at 10 and 2 for 1 1/2 or 2 hour naps each day, and starts bedtime routine at 7:30, lights out by 8. She never wakes up at night anymore. Thank GOD since she’s the child who woke up every night of her life for the first 13-14 months. Sometimes she protests her naps, but she always goes down within 3-5 minutes at the very max. If she’s hysterical during,…
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This is a common question when friends & family learned I’m expecting our third (boy!) and I’m (gasp!) only thirty years old. And the answer is quite simply: I don’t know! Grace over at Camp Patton wrote a great piece about number of kids, Lindsay over at My Child, I Love You wrote a great one about why most families have 2 kids, and my girlfriend Rachel wrote about fear of the larger family for Crisis Magazine. A little better reading for your minds! Most of my lawyer mama friends have one child, and maybe have two. Very few of them have families larger than three. It’s pretty impossible to juggle a career as an attorney, if both parents are working, and three children. I worked part-time through having one child and that was a challenge. Kuddos to the ladies who are open to children + lawyering because it’s really tough! I was recently at a lawyer girlfriend’s baby shower. It was a change of pace for me to be in a room of other female attorneys–and lots of them. Most people were politely surprised to learn I was pregnant with my third, not practicing, and so young, relatively speaking. A few years back, I would have felt uncomfortable, or like I needed to justify my life choices. At this point, I was delighted to have interesting lawyer conversations and field any larger-family-related questions. It was like my belly was evangelizing. Most of my natural world & religious mama friends…
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