I’m out of excuses
I keep searching my mind for an excuse.
I’m sleep deprived.
Yeah, that’s nothing new.
I don’t feel great.
Well, again, three kids in, this is no surprise. I’m not pregnant so no matter how badly I feel because of broken sleep, little alone time, next to zero exercise time, I’m not throwing up.
Well, even though my little nursling turned into a weanling, and then back into my longest nursing tot, my hormones feel really stabilized and I can’t blame them.
I’m scanning my mind for an excuse. Any semi-palpable reason for being not nice.
It’s habit, really, that’s what I’m finding. As I’m about to preface my short remark, my cross look, with a “I’m _____” and then come up truly short. Without a distinguished cause. Just simply because I’m used to complaining and not being NICE.
In reality, my days are so easy and delightful. SweetPea is almost 4 (in April, our shared birthday) and BabyLoves is 20 months and finally starting to say words you can understand and they both still nap 2 hours a day. And SuperBoy? He’s easy going, five and a half, and loves to read, play with his legos, listen to his Jim Weiss (today all about ancient Egypt), and hardly has those knock-down drag-out tantrums he was prone to a few years back. They’re all healthy. They all love to eat and easily poop. I can put all three to bed at night if need be and they can actually clean up after themselves a bit.
So this reaching for an excuse? It’s me not wanting to . . . what’s that made-up word circulating social media? “adulting” . . . I don’t always feel like adulting. I want to indulge myself and my interests beyond what’s healthy and necessary for a mom of little kids. I just want to eat ice cream and scroll the internet or sew!!
To name it is to tame it, right? I hope you aren’t in a place where you’re either a) out of excuses like me or b) the kind of person who longs for them to be less . . . adulting. But I’m okay with publicly saying this is a habit to break. No excuses. Just be nice, Nell!
My friend Lis started a website called Catholic Mommy Blogs where she has brought together a wonderful community of writers. She’s compiling a montage of the answer, why do you Catholic Mommy Blog? My answer is of COURSE: community!
Thanks for the call out, Nell! My kids all eat well and poop easily too. I shouldn’t complain either. 😉
Especially the poop.
Wow, I feel like I could have written that. I certainly think all of those things on a daily basis, so close enough! Thanks for making me feel like i’m not the only one.
thanks for making me feel that way, too!!
Wow Nell! I have been having these same thoughts recently and it puts it more in focus to read your blog post this morning. I have enjoyed your blog for a while, but never commented. This post made me comment 🙂 I read a quote earlier this week that has helped me too….”There are people who would love to have your bad days.” Sometimes with two little people in our household & sleep deprivation (and maybe a little one year old explorer digging in the plants) …I can lose that perspective. Thank you for all you share that encourages us in being the moms we want to be.
hi friend! So glad you’re here and thanks for your kind words! that’s a really great quote. I’m gonna drill that into my mind. two littles can be so so hard!!
You’re just real and down to earth…one of the things I love about you! 🙂
PS your handwriting is pretty…random I know 😉
awwww you’re the sweetest!
A) I’m really not nice a lot of the times too. Virtue is supposed to be hard. That’s what I keep repeating to myself when I find it just OH SO hard to be nice and to adult properly 😉
B) Is it bad that I REALLY want babies and to officially join Catholic Mommy Blogs? It’s so hard to be thankful for my present state of life and not just want to start my vocation already… patience, another virtue I struggle with.
excellent phrase for repeating!!! (and I know, patience is so hard!!)
Yup! Adulting is hard! I know I’m post partum right now with our third but I’m already not looking fwd to the Adulting that is to come. So hard to stay present! Gee whiz, even the Adulting that will be next week when it’s just me and the three Bambino’s flying solo!
Postpartum is the best and the worst. You get to just curl up and heal and bond and then BAM BAM BAM reality! You’ll be in my prayers especially next week!
I love how candid you are–I relate so hard to this. My daughter had a 24-hour flu last week and somehow that experience really helped mobilize me to get it together with my adulting. 😉 Nothing like really, really having to do the laundry to make me realize how easy it really is to just keep on top of it during the week so that the next time barf happens the clean sheets are all ready in the closet!
Nothing like barf to keep us keeping it REAL adulting! So sorry!!
Oh, how I needed to read this. The shortened fuse is nothing more than my annoyance in being inconvenienced by life! We all have too much to be thankful for. Especially the regular poos, even if it creates a lot of cloth diaper laundry, it means toddler-boo is healthy!
Cloth diaper poops. So much that!
I am pregnant. I’m a first year teacher, so even though my hours at work are not long (7:30-12 on the job), I spend the rest of the day making lesson plans and grading papers. Even still, I feel like these are lame excuses for snapping at my perpetually good-natured husband and my rambunctious, chatty toddler. I just want to veg out in front of a Netflix series and eat those Trader Joe’s ice cream sandwich cookies ALL day. Or have a few hours to devote my attention to writing.
I do NOT want to clean, or cook, or do laundry.
I SO know what you mean about “adulting.” And my excuses are just that: excuses! I am capable of all my responsibilities. I just have to get over my bad self.
Girl, you’re growing a baby so you just eat that ice cream! But I totally hear you. It’s hard!
I am convinced that to love is to be inconvenienced. That is why love can be a struggle.
But you are right, when you name it you can do anything. You wake up and say I love my kids, and understand that means you will be inconvenienced that day.