tired parents

Supporting the Other Parent When It’s Tough

March 13, 2012

We enjoyed such a magical weekend: trips to the River, a little friend’s birthday party, a sweet and peaceful afternoon family nap, glorious weather, and lots of good food. But what about those weekends when your partner is working? Or you’re working? Or your child is tantrum-city? We’ve had our fair share of those kinds of weekends too. With a 21 month old, and a 35 week pregnant mama, here are a few things that have helped AA and I support each other, even while each of us is in dire need of a break. 1) Let go of all non-essential activities. For us, I’m the majority time-with-kiddo-parent. That means the few hours AA sees J at night, and those precious weekends, are truly gem times for them. I try to be sensitive in planning non-immediate family activities to ensure they don’t encroach on the boys’ time together. If it’s something we can all do together happily (e.g., NOT running errands as that’s not generally J’s forte), then I’ll go ahead and plan it in. If it’s an adult only activity, or one that requires not paying much attention to J, we try to keep those to later evenings when he’s asleep. Does that mean that once you have children you are totally boring? Yeah, probably. 2) Don’t keep score of who’s doing more. So long as you have a balanced relationship with your partner wherein you know he or she is giving the proverbial “all”–try not to keep score.…

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