parenting tips

Parenting 101: Don’t Borrow Trouble (Or Ask Leading Questions)

November 9, 2012

Any parent will tell you what any moderately with-it person knows: don’t borrow trouble. And when you’re living and parenting a child around, or slightly over, the age of 2, we know it doubly. Little people are prone to suggestions, quick to assert their rights of issuing a “no,” and generally should be given two options, both of which are agreeable to the parent. Like, do you want to bring your baseball bat or your elephant with you to cheer for you while you try to go potty on the toilet? Instead of “do you want to try to go potty on the toilet?” 1) Pick your battles. Certain battles are worth it with a 2+ year old: trying one bite of food, not saying “no!” {no, thank you and yes, mama are acceptable responses}, always trying to go potty, even if you don’t go, staying in your room during quiet time, and saying excuse me. (That actually sounds like a lot of battles, now that I list them all.) Certain battles are not worth it: what music we listen to (music loves in our house here), what games we play, what he wears, which books he reads, which food he eats (remember his limited healthy options here), and sleeping with a pacifier {Ridding Yourself of the Pacifier}. For example, mealtime. Meals for us consist of lots of options for food. But if SuperBoy doesn’t want any of it, we shift to bargaining mode: “Well, your carrots and humus need…

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6 Phrases to Repeat While Parenting & Partnering

August 22, 2012

We’ve all had failed parenting days. We’ve certainly all had failed partnering days. Sometimes we have both. Somedays, like SuperBoy here, we just have to play with a wind chime while clutching our hunting camo hat in hand. See below for six phrases to repeat while parenting & partnering for a better stab at both. I say all of these often. 1) I am sorry. Drop your defenses. If you were rude and impatient with your child, model humility. Ask for forgiveness. If you just sniped at your partner, stop, rewind, and apologize without a litany of excuses. They will understand; they have failed moments too. The child might not understand, but luckily he or she usually has the memory span of a goldfish. 2) I love you. Remind your kiddos you love them multiple times a day. Consciously say it aloud. Tell your partner you love them at least twice, when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Text it to them. Write them a note on the bathroom mirror. You can’t say this enough, in any version–written, sung, spoken, demonstrated. 3) This is coming from a place of love. My sister wisely shared this as a great phrase when communicating with your loved ones, especially if what follows it is an explanation of your hurt feelings, disappointment, or frustration. It’s impossible to sincerely follow this up with a nasty comment. Let your emotions and thoughts truly channel through a place of love. Because even when you…

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