adoption

Emily Rumsey Photography I think every mother, womb-grown & heart-grown, has this litany somewhere in their head: those things they wish they’d heard when they were anticipating the arrival of their baby and the thereafter. Those things they wished someone had told them. My list is pretty long. Probably because I was the first in my family to have a baby, and first in my immediate friend group to be pregnant, and had just moved prior to being pregnant so even those new moms I did know now lived far away from us. A few of my cousins who lived close by had young children and that helped! A few neighbors did, too. No one I worked with that I was close enough to ask things like why is this happening to my unmentionables?? I read a lot, and found community online where I could ask questions. Mostly I just plodded through, trial & error style. Some of these may resonate, some may not. Hopefully you’re hearing (or heard) what you needed to during your first transition! It can be physically hard to be pregnant, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. *** Not everyone who you think doesn’t have a baby, doesn’t have a baby. Lots of loss is invisible, from adoptive plans gone awry to miscarriage to fertility struggles. Don’t assume anything about other women’s bodies. *** It’s okay to feel emotionally out of whack, but if you’re having trouble with day-to-day functioning, tell your provider. You’re not whining. You…