Parenting
When you’re 33 weeks pregnant, there are several inappropriate things you do not want to hear, not from your partner, family members, friends, or strangers. I have personally experienced all of these during this pregnancy or the last. People, don’t say this stuff! 1) Wow. You’re big. (Usually followed by: how much bigger do you think you’ll get?) Yep, and chances are you’re just going to get bigger. It’s called pregnancy and you grow in all parts of your body, not limited to your belly. A hair dresser once told me (when I showed her a photo of how I liked my hair when I was about 40 weeks pregnant with SuperBoy), “Oh, honey, we can do that hair, but this girl’s face is shaped differently than yours.” Um. That was me. 45 pounds heavier. Oope! 2) So how uncomfortable are you? More than you can imagine. And do you want me to be graphic? I can describe which parts of my body the baby’s body chooses to body slam. I can also describe all the other uncomfortable parts of life that revolve around my pregnancy-related-areas. Is this a question people ask just to rub in that you’re a beached whale and they’re not? 3) Do you want it to be over yet? What a tricky question. No, I want my child to grow until she’s considered full-term. And then I want her to come out without medical intervention. So the answer is no. But the answer is also YES…
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Winter in Minnesota: lots of lotion, itchiness, and no incentive to bathe (sorry, AA!) as it’s cold, dry, and just all around bad weather here. I know, I know, it’s been a mild winter. That’s nice. But it’s not SoCal, okay? What to do for your dry winter skin? 1) Hydration & nutrition. First off, stay hydrated. Water moves from the inside out. So drink up, H2O that is, especially if you’re a soda, coffee, or tea drinker as those are dehydrants. And what you eat has a HUGE impact on your skin. I’m no expert, but it’s things you’d think of, like berries, good fats (avocado, nuts), beans, dark chocolate (yes!!!). Google it up (as my dad says). 2) Lotion. Secondly, lotion up. And with real stuff, not the icky smear-around-cheap-crap. Go buy something that is a little more expensive, but has real and penetrating ingredients. I love any variety of things I find at the Coop, but stick with lots of great oils as well. My mom got a few gallons of this Goat’s Milk lotion from some little vendor in Vermont a few years back for all of us for Christmas (she thought she was ordered a far smaller quantity–and probably made this goat farmer’s year with her purchase order). It’s amazing. For pregnant mamas, the Mambino Organics Moisturizing Toning Oil is amazing (my sister gave it to me last pregnancy and I still have some left over for this one!) and a little goes a…
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Here’s another guest post from Molly W, who wrote on Pregnancy Fitness here, and recently about Elimination Communication here. She and her husband practice co-sleeping with their little 5 month old girl and she shares why it works for her. “Aren’t you afraid you’re going to roll over on her?” People inquire. Yes, of course, which is likely the reason I haven’t yet crushed our little daughter who sleeps in our bed with us. You’ve heard of it, and probably have done it lots if you have a new baby since they seem to sleep best on mommy’s chest. I thought cosleeping was kindof weird, for poncho-wearing parents who add chia seeds to their homemade granola. Now I guess I just need to dig up the old baja poncho from ’94 to seal my entry into the club. We originally bought a mini-armsreach cosleeper. The name is deceiving because it is in fact a bassinet which sidles up along the bed, but is not easy to get baby in and out of if you are laying down. V would toss around in it and only calm down if I put my hand in it and touched her, totally uncomfortable sleeping position for me, but I didn’t want to “train” her to sleep in the bed with us since I feared she would never sleep anywhere else, also that I would roll over on to her. When she was 2 months old, I was going back to work soon, still sleep…
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Dr. Strangelove, anyone? One of my dad’s favorites. And one we watched as children (and didn’t get, of course). Parenting is sometimes loving a bomb. Not to be confused with the 90’s term “da bomb.” Parenting is a tough joy, right? It’s the eternal paradox of “I-love-my-life and I-hate-my-life.” A friend’s blog said it perfectly the other day: Mothering Spirit “Conversations with Myself at 2am & 8am.” How do we come to more fully embrace the low lows and not just yearn for the perfect days? I have two thoughts to share on this. Big disclaimer though: I find parenting joyfully a continual and challenging goal to strive towards in my own vocation as a mama, so I don’t write this from a position of self-perceived superiority, by any means! 1) Count your blessings. If you are privileged enough to get pregnant without the assistance of medical technology, start with saying “thank you” there. If you can conceive a child, and carry that child full-term without undue medical problems, say another huge “thank you.” If your child is born free from developmental differences and challenges, you are blessed in a different way than parents of special children. If you are able to adopt a child the age you are hoping for, you are blessed. If your child survives infancy and childhood without life threatening or challenging medical conditions, say thank you. Lots of blessings counted so far. And we try to remind ourselves that being a parent, and a…
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Everyone’s journey of pregnancy is different, and indeed, even the same mama can experience pregnancy differently with different children. There are many stereotypes of pregnancy: discomfort, irritability, nesting instinct, frequency of bathroom use, breakout, hair thickening, breast swelling, leg swelling, feet swelling, nausea, smell sensitivity, and the list goes on. Your particular body goes through its own cycle of hormonal increase during pregnancy so some of the aforementioned may pertain to you, and others may not. Five things that may change when you’re pregnant, and that did for me this time (who can remember last time?) around: 1) Procrastination habits change. God willing, your little baby will come into your family after a long (and short) 40 weeks, That means at some point you have to get the baby’s space ready, have some clothing purchased for him or her, have your little nest prepared, and face that long list of “must-do’s” before the fateful day! I wrote about pre-preparing for baby number 2 a while ago, and should probably face my real preparing now that I’m in the third trimester. Even though you’re busy at work, trying to get the rest of your life in order, don’t neglect the home front on a physical or metaphysical level. Stop procrastinating on projects because when you have an infant, they are almost impossible to finish. You have neither the impetus, nor care about that back hall closet that needs to be sorted through. Also, prepare your relationship or family for a new member. Invest lots…
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Parenting Style Talk: Maybe It Starts With the Parent
There’s lots of talk around the world of media about parenting styles lately. I propose we should focus a little more on who we are and how we behave, and let it follow suit. Are we putting our needs first, disguised as “what’s best for my child”? Are we failing to corral our own behavioral patterns and instead blaming our child’s behavior for our negativity? Let’s look at these articles first and see what secrets they purport to divulge on the great Parenting Style Solution. Remember last year when Amy Chua wrote “Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother” and there was an excerpt in the Wall Street Journal entitled “Why Chinese Parents Are Superior,” and then a follow up rebuttal piece by Ayelet Waldman “In Defense of the Guilty, Ambivalent, Preoccupied Western Mom?” Both are excellent reads, I might add, and the comment sections are fabulous(ly entertaining) and interesting. Now there’s the “Why French Parents are Superior” piece in the Journal by Pamela Druckerman, author of “Bringing Up Bebe.” Once again, there are various rebuttals, like these letters to the editor in the WSJ and this article in the NYT: “Building Self-Control, the American Way.” The authors of the NYT article run this blog called Welcome to Your Brain, and they just came out with a book about brain development from conception through college. Totally need to get this! This last article is most compelling to me, partly because it’s based on the science of the human brain and…
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