Parenting
Obviously my child is unattended. Seen here about to be eaten by our 6 pound Siamese cat. Did everyone see this HuffPo article out yesterday? It was viral in my newsfeed on Facebook. Of course, that’s probably because of all the mom groups I’m part of (yes, I’m that mom on Facebook). It’s by Amy Morrison, blogger at Pregnant Chicken, entitled “Why You’re Never Failing as a Mother.” See it here. She’s clever and funny. She talks about all the insanely over-the-top things you’re supposed to be an expert in/amazing at as a mother, while mothering, and probably while working. Two things hit me from the article: 1) How much our family culture has changed: “If you think about it, if you had a baby thousands, if not hundreds of years ago, you would have had your mother, all your sisters (all of whom were probably lactating) and your nieces all taking care of your baby. They would help with food preparation, show you how to manage and make sure your baby wasn’t eaten by a bear. Your kid’s feet probably wouldn’t have touched the ground until they themselves would be able to carry around an infant.” Where are our families? Where’s the intergenerational help? We have smaller families now-a-days, to be sure, and autonomy is number one! I want to live in my own house without anyone telling me what to do, or commenting on how I do it. (It meaning eat, raise kids, do laundry, practice or fail…
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Every December starts with a whoooosh. Thanksgiving pies settle in our stomachs and before you know it, it’s the beginning of Advent, the Catholic’s celebration of starting a new liturgical calendar and prepping for the celebration of Christ’s birth. Then it’s holiday shopping, holiday baking, holiday parties, and the actual holidays, and then New Year’s, and then recovering from all the goodies you wolfed down and resolving to work off all those calories. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. But, I’m resolved to follow these five steps to prepare better to truly enjoy and celebrate the holidays this year. 1) Shop ahead of time. Go local, go artisan, go upcycled. Buy the same thing you can get at a big chain from a mom& pop shop (i.e., Smart Wool socks). Visit Etsy where individual artisans hand make their products. Visit the antique & thrift shops around. Support your own local economy. Handmade your gifts. Go simple. If possible, plan throughout the year who you want to give to, and look for good deals on your items. Remember that giving should be enjoyable for you and for your recipient and not a huge last minute run to the store headache. Try to plan ahead. Our big family has decided to go handmade this year for our holiday celebration of Christmas. We’ve done gift exchanges in the past, but as we all love to give gifts, feel that this year, we can do gifts for every person but on a smaller scale than…
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My sister and I with her little girl when she was 7-ish months and me pregnant with SweetPea. Giving birth radically changes your body in so many ways, on the surface of your skin, and inside on a cellular level. And to top it all off, you have a new human being as the biggest change of all. My body bounced back more quickly after SuperBoy, and still isn’t quite normal 8 months after SweetPea. (Of course, the caramels and real cream in our mashed potatoes doesn’t help.) This is my little guide to loving your post-baby body. 1) Remember that you share(d) your body with another person–with that comes many changes. Your child grew inside you. What you ate affected them. The sounds around you when they were in utero affected them. Your stress levels affected them. It wasn’t just your body during pregnancy. It encompassed both of you. That alone is mind blowing. And worthy of just saying wow. And then after all this growing inside, you delivered them into this world. So, keep all this in mind as you run through the litany of physical changes to your body because of your child inside. It’s a real privilege and a gift to be able to conceive and carry to term a baby. Not to be taken for granted. Love your body. Love it for its lumps and bumps. Its pouches and pooches. Its veins and stripes. Its balloons and leaks. It’s the only body you get for this…
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This is a common developmental occurrence. Child prefers one parent to the other. It can vacillate, or it can seem like a perpetual stream of “dadadadadadadadada” or “mamamamamamama” to infinity and beyond. Here’s how this plays out in our life, and how we handle it. 1) Encourage love of the other parent. I’m with SuperBoy and SweetPea all day long. When AA comes home, I want to encourage them to be excited, clap, hug, go wrestle him/leap into his arms. I practice saying “da da da da da” all day long with our almost 8 month old daughter. I’d be delighted if it was her first parental address, as it was SuperBoy’s. It’s not a competition. Conversely, AA encourages SuperBoy to take a break during their evening playtime to come give me a hug, talks up how much he loves me, hugs me in front of him, and always backs me up when I issue an executive maternal order (No, you may not eat the lotion.). 2) Don’t take it personally. SuperBoy adores his father. A-DOR-ES him. The world stops when he comes home at night, and he wants him to put him down, look at his baseball cards, help him eat dinner, brush his teeth, and read him a story. Yes, there is a little daylight’s worth of room for me in there, and it’s not as though he expressly shuns my company (sometimes), but the majority of it all is dada-centric. It’s been this way for about a…
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Life is a roller coaster, right? The high highs, the low lows. Children punctuate those highs and lows, lending a deeper height and depth. Whole Parenting is all about familyhood, developing the whole person of your child, and living the challenges and joys of parenthood. So how do I achieve this? Some days it’s just about survival. I’ve swapped lawyering for home life, etsy, & blogging. Here’s a little sample day in our lives. 6am: AA up & out the door. Nursing SweetPea in our bed. Morning: SuperBoy up and at ’em. Attempt to nurse SweetPea back down in bed, and hoping she doesn’t awaken just yet. Try to convince him to sleep more. Try to convince him to go potty on the toilet. Change out of PJs. Try to convince him to come downstairs. Probably snuggle in bed with him for another half hour, reading books, saying morning prayers, and counting all his buddies. Make him oatmeal, yogurt, & fruit dish {Toddler Breakfast Delight}. Convince him to eat while sitting in his chair. Listen periodically for SweetPea on the monitor, and checking her actual little face. Start laundry. Read books. Listen to music. Have a dance party. SweetPea awakens at some point. Nurse her, change her, put her in her chair so she can watch her brother and maybe have a little banana & rice cereal. Clean up after everyone. Try to eat breakfast myself. SuperBoy goes for quiet time on his bed reading while SweetPea is nursed & rocked…
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Any parent will tell you what any moderately with-it person knows: don’t borrow trouble. And when you’re living and parenting a child around, or slightly over, the age of 2, we know it doubly. Little people are prone to suggestions, quick to assert their rights of issuing a “no,” and generally should be given two options, both of which are agreeable to the parent. Like, do you want to bring your baseball bat or your elephant with you to cheer for you while you try to go potty on the toilet? Instead of “do you want to try to go potty on the toilet?” 1) Pick your battles. Certain battles are worth it with a 2+ year old: trying one bite of food, not saying “no!” {no, thank you and yes, mama are acceptable responses}, always trying to go potty, even if you don’t go, staying in your room during quiet time, and saying excuse me. (That actually sounds like a lot of battles, now that I list them all.) Certain battles are not worth it: what music we listen to (music loves in our house here), what games we play, what he wears, which books he reads, which food he eats (remember his limited healthy options here), and sleeping with a pacifier {Ridding Yourself of the Pacifier}. For example, mealtime. Meals for us consist of lots of options for food. But if SuperBoy doesn’t want any of it, we shift to bargaining mode: “Well, your carrots and humus need…
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