Parenting
Judgers love to judge. How judgmental are you as a parent of other parents? Or as a mother to non-mothers? Or just as a mere person to other people? I will confess that I’m judgmental at times. I can leap to conclusions about other people and then decide that’s totally accurate and correct on a dime. I judge other parents, mothers, sisters, daughters & everyone else. BUT I’m working on not being judgmental. Rather, I’d like to exercise my sense of judgment without being judgmental. Tricky thing. Am I splitting hairs? I don’t think so. These are pretty different concepts, right? 1) Judgmental people have few friends. Webster says this: 1: of, relating to, or involving judgment 2: characterized by a tendency to judge harshly — I’m going with the second definition here, people. Being judgmental means that you are always on the lookout for something to pounce on, to criticize. It means that as the person is sharing about their life choices, or their circumstances, you’re already evaluating, categorizing, and psychoanalyzing them. It means that your tolerance for people who process life differently than you is low. It means you are not a fun friend to have! Many of my mama friends work outside the home. Many had pain meds at the birth of their children. Many aren’t Catholic. Some are single parents. Some didn’t go to college; others are PhDs. They’re not my friends because we have the same path in life. They’re my friends because we are driven by the same desire…
Read More
I went to confession this weekend and it had been a while. Nothing is so humbling as waiting in a long line to tell a priest who’s acting in the place of Christ how petty, imperfect, and small you are. Nothing makes you so honest as having to actually articulate your failings aloud to another person. And nothing is more cleansing than an acknowledgment of failing, receiving absolution, and resolving to try to sin no more. How are we supposed to accomplish that? One day, one moment, one choice at a time. And asking for help along the way. For me, that means being where I am and not constantly trying to scramble to the next place. It’s Monday morning. Relax, it’s just the first day of the week. You have a million things to do today. Relax, you’re not going to get them all done. You want to get this, that, and the other done so that this, that, and the other will be over and you can get through it to the next list of obligations. Relax, there will always be more to do. You can’t forget this. You have to do that. Relax, and be where you are right now. Strive to get the kitchen tidy, the pile of laundry folded and put away, the paperwork filed on your desk, the sewing projects all completely magically finished in one felled swoop, the children napping at the same time, a mini work out in, a nice healthy lunch,…
Read More
This is our 20th post of guests sharing their birth and/or parenting stories. See the other 19 posts here. They range from homebirth to epidural, homeschooling to bottle feeding. Today’s post is written by Nicole M, mother of a preschooler who was diagnosed with Autism. It’s not that simple, though, and her journey will be shared in a three part series over the next few Fridays. Read, learn, and appreciate that every child has his or her own path, taking their parents with them. — Early Signs and Seeing His Differences In retrospect, we probably had a lot of signs. As a baby, he was fascinated by words and labels and would stare at those constantly. We joked he was going to be a tort lawyer since so many of those words were various warnings on baby products. Early on, he would make a sound that sounded like “ay, me” a lot. Also cute. At one point, he picked up a chant: “good, good, good…” which he would babble by himself. In a lot of ways he was an insanely easy child: he would play by himself for long periods of time, and didn’t fuss too much about going to bed. The worst part was the teething, which was monstrously early and often (a family trait) and the ear infections we thought would never clear, that eventually did. As our son became a toddler, we noticed how super smart he was: he knew his alphabet early, was reading everyone’s names…
Read More
So when your extended family all get together over the holidays and one little person is screaming in the bathroom with you on the other side of the door keeping it shut, what do you do? Oh, that’s me and my two and a half year old. It’s time to talk about little-person-induced-trauma around here again. I have a whole series on tantrums & toddler behavior viewable on the bottom of home page, here. But really, what do you do when your smart, sweet, adorable, intense, intelligent, and very headstrong little child is seemingly out of control? 1) How did we get here? First, a little background on SuperBoy’s development towards this behavioral cliff, you might call it. He’s a bright child with a highly developed sense of language and comprehension. Am I biased? Sure, but I don’t say this to brag. I mean, he talks a ton and seems to understand a half ton. So when he corrects us, or insists on something, or has to have it his way, I’m often just bemused by how aptly he can articulate his position. Or how brilliantly he can negotiate. Or how splendidly he can wield concepts and words to get what he wants. Lots of yeses, lots of negotiating, and few hard & fast nos. Lots of talking talking talking. Lots of attempts at reason (I know! I know! Don’t try to reason with a 2 and a half year old! Rule 1 of parenting a little person!). Lots of…
Read More
It’s New Years, so bring on the resolutions, right? I’m guessing that 85% of people’s resolutions revolve around food and fitness. Fewer desserts, more miles on the treadmill and the like. I’m no nutritionist, nor fitness buff, but from years of working out with learned professionals, and years of training as an athlete, I’m going to opine here on 5 steps to a healthier you this year. Welcome 2013! 1) Water is your number one drink. Eliminate soda. Limit coffee & tea. Really limit beer (calories!). Eradicate energy drinks (so unbelievably terrible for your system). Pace freshly squeezed juices. Continue with milk (cow, almond, soy, rice, coconut). Pump up your water. Water comprises 60% of your body. It’s necessary for almost all bodily functions (moving waste, carrying nutrients, providing moisture). You should be drinking a ton of it. Or 8-10 glasses a day. If you’re pregnant or nursing, you really need to be serious about your intake as dehydration can affect your amniotic fluid levels, your baby’s circulation, and the ability for your body to cope with the increase in blood volume. Drink up! Often when we reach for food, we’re really dehydrated. If you’re nauseated by water, as I am during pregnancy, a little peppermint or lemon can help. Try water over food first. My big sippy cup jug from the hospital still serves as my water source during the day. Having a container you regularly fill up and drink down is very helpful to remember to stay…
Read More
It’s Christmas. For us that means lots of religious customs. We’re religious folk, AA and I. Our sense of spirituality is bizarrely similar, given that we were raised with fairly different approaches to it. We love tradition. We love dark churches lit by candles. We love Latin chanting. We love a quiet session in the Adoration Chapel. We love private prayer. We love our parish {see article I wrote on it here}, the same one I was born into, and now the same one our children were! Spirituality and religion are so profoundly personal. And not everyone wants a sense of either. And many of us are still on our journey of either/both/one. Given that each person has a particular journey, why start religious instruction early for children? Why not let them choose their own path when they are old enough to be interested in it? Why foist your views, or lack thereof, on an impressionable young mind? We have opted to start religion for our kiddos from the get-go for five basic reasons: 1) Give a baseline for later and more nice people in their lives for now. I hope our children always feel and think their faith and beliefs, but even if they change their course or adopt different beliefs, they have our heritage as a baseline. Even if only for cultural references. The gift of access to faith, encouragement in faith, and exposure to people who believe in things (that takes a leap!) is a beautiful example.…
Read More