Parenting
There is simply nothing out there like waffling on the precipice of your third trimester of your third pregnancy to put you in full-deal-with-behavioral-stuff-now mode as a mom. I had a great interview with Jamie from Behave Your Best and am working that up, so stay tuned for the expert of all expert’s advice on handing challenging behavioral issues with your child. But in the meanwhile, I have to share that having this next baby on the horizon has encouraged me to address any unresolved long standing habits with both my kids. Nip it now, right? Before my hands are completely full. I’ve shared in the past detailing our lovely toddler behavior battles. A whole section on ’em. A few I need to re-read periodically for myself are the ones on how fear & power parenting doesn’t work, wiggle it out: my spastic son needs to move, helping the emotional little boy find his voice & listening ears, big boy battles: loving discipline for your toddler, two & a half year old terror? that’s my kid, three key steps to taming your tantruming toddler, toddler tantrums abound . . . help! {hahaha–I just laugh when I think about how I thought these were actual tantrums. They were nothing in comparison of what came!} My list of SuperBoy habits I’m working on right now: 1) Discerning the genuinely 3.7 year old melts versus the stinky tantrum. Is he melting down because she took his markers and he doesn’t want to share? Or…
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Sometimes they play happily in my room while I work. Sometimes. Sometimes I lay down–on the rug–or hardwood floors–and they play. Until they fight over their dolls, their blocks, their puzzles, and SuperBoy is highly indignant that his sister would want something he has. Shocker. With a new wakeup time imposed on SuperBoy (can’t leave his room until it’s 7am on his clock, unless he goes potty and then goes right back to bed), and SweetPea being happy and staying in her bed asleep til 8am, I’m lapping up these last few months of no nursing, uninterrupted (semi) sleep (for the past week?). I’m 26 weeks and thinking I can survive 14 more weeks of this. Hopefully. Structure has saved my life. A little inner discipline and kicking my own butt has helped survive this stage of pregnancy. I put things away right away instead of letting them linger & load up in the corners of the house. I do laundry on certain days and actually turn it over all the day long so it’s done at the end of the day. I fill the dishwasher right after a meal and soak the handwashing so the sink isn’t full of nasty crusty dishes in cold water. I make a list of what I have to do that week, and then the night before, try to make a quick list of my day the following day to prep. I decided what to let go of, and what to cling to (showering…
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And I mean for when the baby is out–not in. I don’t say pediatrician because you don’t necessarily need one. We saw a ped for the first year of SuperBoy’s life and then made the switch to a family practice doc. She’s fabulous, sees the kids, me, and if I ever get AA to take a morning off to go in, him too. And the clinic is four minutes from our house. With parking. Dream for a mom who’s pregnant and always a tad late. But I digress. When you’re pregnant, if you’re reading all those lists of things to do books or sites, they’ll say, find a pediatrician. Then they’ll give you 50 questions to ask him or her before you actually join their practice. I’m going to give you an abbreviated list from a mom of two. My list is shorter because I’ve learned what’s actually a big deal to me, and what’s not. I also have a doctor for my own dad so that eliminates about half of my office visits because he tells me a) it’s a heat rash or b) the swelling will go down. First time parents, you’ll need to develop your own doctor mom or doctor dad intuition and probably (like me!) call or visit the clinic over things that turn out to be, well, not life & death. I’ll break it down into categories: 1) Location If you have to drive a ton to get everywhere anyway, having your doc’s office a…
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Our amazing 100 year old house has a library with built-in shelves. Yes, ample reading space & material (and yes, took this pic before the winter whereas now the windows are covered in sheets of ice. On the inside). But I end up always reading these: I was an English major. You know the kind in college. The annoying kind of wanted to talk about reading and what she was reading and what other people were reading and where the AWP conference was going to be held this year, and which writers groups she was a part of, and how she loved poetry! Oh gawsh, don’t you want to read my thesis that’s a creative writing manuscript?? Then I realized I either had to give up horses (oh no!) and work at being a poet, or I could explore law school (yuck!) and then realistically afford my very expensive habit. With many tears shed, I reluctantly took the LSAT (read Rilke during the break and ate a banana), chose between the law schools I got in to (2 out of 2 applied to–whoopie!), and cried the whole 12 hour drive to Michigan. I didn’t know a soul in the state and didn’t want to be a lawyer. I thought I could hold my breath for three years and still be a little poet at heart. Then I fell in love. With the school. With my friends. With the community. And didn’t just survive with bated breath, but thrived! Trouble is,…
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the kiddos, my mom, and my awesomest Tia Ali living it up on the lake It’s true. I’ve written about them before {Five Simple Steps to a Healthier You}. I’ve sworn I’ll drink that gallon of water that the internet is ablaze about that we’re supposed to be drinking per day (per DAY, not bathing in, drinking up). I’ve sworn I’ll not eat after 7pm. Not even Grand Ole Creamery Mac Daddy ice cream. And I’ve promised not to blog in my pajamas when my kids are busy destroying each other’s lego castles. But even so, even though I suck at New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve done them again. Come over to my monthly contribution to Rachel’s Day-2-Day Joys and read all about post holiday health recovery. I’ll tempt you with this great line: “When you’ve sugared out, and your kiddos have too, it’s time to detox before New Years so you can get a smooth start on your resolutions to eat less sugar, and work out more. Wait, that’s your plan too?? Who doesn’t have that resolve (at least til February)? Maybe you can put this off til after New Years, if you’re going to be at home on vacation, eating those leftover cookies.” I do link to some of my go-to-recipes, and other links that have saved the food day, workout day, and spiritual day. C’mon over.
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Did you survive? We survived! But the real key is how am I going to survive without eating all the faux-Nut Goodie Bars my sister Bridget concocted that are peanut-free. Let’s just say I’m wolfing them down. I’m sure you have no food vices whatsoever around the holidays. The biggest delight was having a great priest friend come for our sit-down-formal-china dinner on Christmas Eve. He’s 85 and sharp as a whip. His voice is so dramatic and well modulated that you could listen to it forever. He happens to be one of SuperBoy’s favorite people in the universe as well. SweetPea did a lot of peeking from my shoulder and then burying her face every time he tried to talk to her. You know this age–all fuss & flirt. After our hard earned meal, we retired to the library for a little quiet while SuperBoy & his Dada & Baba looked for Santa in the attic. You know, while mom and I and my sisters hustled all the gifts out and shoved them under the tree. It was a flurry & flash. Alack! They missed Santa’s exit up the chimney by mere shades of seconds, but somehow he and Rudolf had their cookies & milk. Don’t ask why Rudolph also had come down the chimney. Christmas Midnight Mass at our beloved St. Agnes would have been amazing, but this pregnant woman passed out, ne’er to be awakened before 8:30am Christmas morning so we slacked and went to the noon…
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