New Year, OId Me

If I had it all together, I’d have a really ready post for you to welcome and be ready to smash 2018 with all our goals: fitness, food, family, faith, everything all shiny and ready to be B E T T A H.

But the truth is, I’m finding already these few days in, I’m still the same old me. I’m still eating ice cream while ruing my stress coping mechanism. I’m still not washing my face or shaving my legs on the regular. And the laundry pile has been added to without any sign of someone (ahem ME) folding or putting it away.

Maybe I don’t believe in resolutions anymore.

But I did smile more at my children the last few days. I did tell them I loved them through gritted teeth as they thrashed around, decidedly not getting into their snow gear willingly despite the fact we needed to drive to the train station. I did make buttermilk pancakes for dinner and share some with my snot nosed freshly minted toddler (she’s one and I’m in denial) instead of the spinach I had planned.

And I made up an entire character fleet for Playmobile & Lego wars replete with voices and accents and staged the battle all on my own with the kids the other evening. EZRA is this reluctant one who is para military and constantly complaining about his helmet fitting and the Sand God is a surfer dude who would prefer to go back to the pyramids instead of fighting in medieval times. Follow? Me neither.

But the kids were laughing.

And watching them laugh at my nonsensical silly storyline that has continued for days has given me new confidence as a mom.

I don’t have to be fit. I don’t have to be wrinkle free. I just have to be fun.

I surprised myself. I’ve been faking it til I make it a lot as a mom. Grinding it out until I can escape into my phone during long nursing sessions. Hoping to scoot upstairs to organize my office and make it delightfilled and pretty to assuage my discontent at the children’s messes.

I wasn’t faking it having fun with them. They think I’m funny and maybe I am.

If you’re the same old you this year, already overwhelmed by the beautiful and fun lives others appear to be living (thank you, social media!), know this: maybe the same old you has something wonderful buried within. And maybe you just need to relax into yourself to find it.

Okay, I’ll be over here nursing my baby  toddler, itching my dry winter Minnesota frozen skin, and hoping to defrost meat before dinner time. I’ve been busier on instagram than blog lately (hangs head in sheepish dismay) so catch me there if you’re missing me in your inbox.

Meanwhile also planning: flannel skirts in the Whole Parenting Goods shoppe soon, those affirmation guides finished, decorating my house almost done, and planning the Minnesota Blessed is She “Wild” retreat for August 11th!!