Coping with Being “Overdue” in Your Pregnancy

I have not been patient toward the end of this pregnancy. I kept thinking we’d go early, like with SweetPea. I kept thinking my water was about to break {and then thought it had}. I planned ahead so much, I had the entire month of May scheduled for blog posts and our meal plan! I nested so hardcore, there was nothing left to sort except the freezer.

I let my head leap ahead of my pregnant tumtum, and look where we are now.

41 weeks.

Still prego.

Had our scan today and found out he’s completely healthy and happy! And that my cervix is doing well and getting ready . . . so I gave up the despairing attitude and decided we can go til 42 weeks before induction. He really truly might come on his own. It had been a long few weeks and we were wavering on when to induce. At one point I thought that there was no single way on God’s green earth I could go past 41 weeks. As soon as they did the scans to ensure he was okay, take him OUT. But then I thought, well, maybe if my cervix has changed. Maybe if there are signs he could come in his own time.

My wise double doula team reminded me that lots can happen in hours, much less days. And that it doesn’t hurt him to give him a longer leash. And my midwives are awesome about birth being natural, normal, and on baby’s time. So it took until actually hearing my cervix had changed, and an upbeat midwife & nurse, and my supportive husband, to believe in BabyLoves’ timing. And to put up with the literal pain in the everywhere of being this pregnant.

Maybe he’ll come right now. Maybe now. Maybe . . . now?

For all the rest of you mother lovers out there who are “overdue”– don’t do what I did. Cope better.

1) Stay in the headspace of zen.

I lost my zen. I lost the joy of anticipating normal birth. I lost all sense of wanting to welcome the baby in love. All I could focus on was how each morning I was still pregnant, and didn’t want to be. Surround yourself with your busy life (Cynthia, Laura, Mary, you all told me this and I didn’t listen!!). Don’t stop living because you might give birth any second!

Playdates, work dates, dinner dates, drink dates, ice cream dates, keep it all rolling. Listen to your hypno-birthing CDs. Read Ina May Gaskin. Read Erica Lyon. Read Mothering.com. Reading positive birth stories. Read blogs about how wonderful it is to welcome your child. Go get acupuncture like I did with Erika at Enlightened Wellness!

Do not google “i’m overdue at 41 weeks.”

The photos alone are frightening!

2) Exercise.

I’m not the best about this at my best. But after a very stiff back, I’ve been doing prenatal yoga videos. A variety of them–though I actually went to a class at Blooma last night in hopes it would kickstart labor. It didn’t, and I couldn’t do all the exercises with those svelte 20 week mamas, but it was a great thing to just go and do.

We may or may not have sang in unison. We may or may not have swooped our juicy wombs. It’s prenatal yoga. You know how these things are.

Seriously. Get stretched before your baby stretches you. Doesn’t matter how you’re planning on birthing–who wants to pull a muscle if you can help it? And who wants a harder recovery if you can help it?

3) Smile. Just smile.

When people ask if the baby is here yet, don’t take the opportunity to dump on them about how sick you are of being pregnant, how much your pelvis hurts, how much you can’t stand it another second. Unless you’re paying them to listen (care provider), they have to listen (partner), or they can put the phone on speaker & mute and pretend to listen (my siblings), just smile.

Griping doesn’t help, sadly. I know this for a fact!!! Smiles stimulate oxytocin, the big jump-starter of labor. Get your happy on. It can help. Speaking of getting happy . . . .

4) Google natural ways to start labor, and then realize they’re all futile.

Sex.

Spicy food.

Walking.

Acupuncture.

Pineapple.

Ice cream. {okay, I made that one up}

Nipple stimulation.

If your body isn’t ready, none of these are going to jumpstart. They might help if you’re stalling out or you’ve got a slow start, but they are not the jumper cables you’re hoping for.

5) Herbal ways to start need the supervision of your healthcare provider.

Don’t down a billion glasses of raspberry leaf tea, or apply evening primrose oil to your you-know-wheres. Don’t drink castor oil by the bucket.

These are powerful herbal agents and should only be done under the supervision of your provider.

Don’t trust chat boards on the inter web. Or really anyone on the inter web.

Your provider can sweep your membranes (maybe not a great option if you’re GBS+ like me) or break your water (also, not great if you’re GBS+ over here). Talk to them.

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See how happy AA looks with the kids in our new stroller? Welcome to the family, amazing stroller. Thanks to my amazing parents, it’s our new wheels. And wooooooo is it so amazing? Yes, amazing. I said it about 10 times. Speaking of which, I’m about to take them for a walk in a (futile) attempt to get things started over here.