Why Moms May Not Look Like Normal People

I had a revelation yesterday. It was at my Catholic Moms group. We meet in the Bride’s Room of our parish, something like 8-14 moms, 15-30 kids. The kids wreak havoc and we chat about various topics. Yesterday was “self care for the busy mom.” Wait for it; the revelation is coming. We talked about spiritual retreats, date night by yourself at Target, how our craft night was a re-charger, and yes, pedicures.

I confessed I hadn’t taken off  my french pedicure toe nail polish from being a bridesmaid at my DC sweet girlfriend’s wedding in . . .  APRIL. There was a dull silence in any otherwise loud room. Most people looked a little shocked. Disgusted? Amused? Definitely confused as to why my hygiene was so lacking. The truth is, I don’t have any toe nail polish remover and never remember to get it at the store. Gross? Maybe. Definitely. So I went out and bought some last night, and repainted my nails deep purple. Kinda a Rumsey Rouge as a shoutout to my sweet friend Emily.

Revelation: moms prioritize different things. For me, it’s almost never appearance and hygiene. And I need to beef things up in that department. I was impressed by my girlfriends who came yesterday to group showered, hair blow dried, and looking lovely. They weren’t peacocking around. They aren’t vain women. They simply looked presentable and lovely! Now that can’t be all of us everyday, but I really put zero effort into it. And I should care more. And I should have removed my toe nail polish from 6 months ago. Because that is gross.

Hint: that’s my revelation. 

I didn’t mean to shock my friends. (And I confessed to Shea I was wearing what I had slept in–I DID brush my teeth!!) (And in my defense, I had been up since 4am without a chance to shower before AA left at 6:30, got the kids to a doc appt and then to group.) I hope they can get past it and not reconsider coming over, eating food I’ve prepared, or leaving their children with me (as my mom suggested over hot tea this morning “Oh, NELL, save those things for your SISTERS and SARAH!!!!”).

10 reasons why your mom friends may not look like normal people:

1) Their children were up all night, alternating crying and pooping.

2) Their shower is broken and washing your hair in the bath still means it looks unwashed.

3) They hate bathing in the cold, drafty, Minnesota winter weather in an old house. (Yes, Tia Ali, I will get a space heater someday for the bathroom!)

4) As they were leaving the house, someone wiped smoothie all over their yoga pants, which they may or may not have slept in.

5) Their husband works late nights & early mornings, or they’re a single parent whose partner isn’t present. God bless you. I DO NOT KNOW how you do it. Single parents are my heroes.

6) Blow drying hair, putting on makeup or contact lenses, applying deodorant sounds like so much time you could be laying in bed, or forcing your children to try to go to the bathroom before you leave the house.

7) Mascara applied never comes off. NEVER. Despite several different eye makeup removers. Raccoon eyes for days is the result.

8) Shopping for grownup clothing budget was eaten when they decided to spring for organic cotton sweaters for their children (Love you, Toto Knits!)

9) If you’re not working outside the home, the bar for appearance can be lowered. In my case, I was never great about looking fabulous at work to begin with and now that I’m home, it’s downright shameful! 🙂

10) Their hormones are crazy, pregnant, lactating, or no. I plan on this being a lifelong excuse.

Thanks for putting up with my embarrassing lack of foot hygiene, lovely ladies in my moms’ group!