No One Does It All: Confession of a HouseMom

A few people have remarked lately, Oh, you just do it all, don’t you? Or how do you do it all? You cook from scratch, you probably never eat junk food, you sew all this stuff, you blog, and your children know prayers in Latin. Ahhhh!!! First off, only a few of those are true. Secondly, I fear I’ve become one of those friends we love to hate. And confession–I LOVE unhealthy food! I only eat like this for my kids. And for all this work, you can see what SweetPea’s awkward favorite habit is–she does this any and everywhere!!

I’m afraid to become one of the friends whose blog we read and think unmentionables. And then think about how things really aren’t the way they seem. And then compare our lives and happily determine that our life is better than theirs. Come on, unless you’re a saint or waaaaaaaay more saintly than I am (not that hard to be), you know we all have friends we love to hate. We get annoyed at their facebook posts and complain about it to our sisters. We simultaneously think they’re a bad parent but are incensed they haven’t gotten back to us about that missed playdate. We’re petty and small and obsessed with how many people follow our blog/like our facebook status/respond to our emails or texts. We judge. Remember my post on judging {Trying to Retain Judgment Without Being Judgmental}?

I just read that social media has enhanced narcissism, or is driven by it. I thought, Not me. I write an altruistic blog aimed at sharing our experiences and helping other families know they’re not alone with their monster toddler, etc. But really, yes. I’m far more narcissistic than ever given my social media outlets. I am. It’s not even hard to admit it. My IPhone is on me constantly and I mindlessly check facebook for updates during feeding my kids breakfast. Breakfast! And my kids don’t even get screen time themselves?! I have to force myself to set the phone down during the day because, guess what? those emails can and should wait. The facebook is going to be there during nap time, or night time. Or what if we all left it due to the revelation the government is collecting all.our.personal.data.

One exception is Pinterest while I rock and nurse SweetPea to sleep for her two naps and bedtime. She’s 14 months and at some point will wean I suppose so then that time will be going to something more productive? But for now, that’s guilt-free. Unless I’m giving her brain cancer by having the phone too close to her head.

Our lives are simple, and that’s a big part of why I do as “much” as I do. Because I’m not working outside the home. Because I have two kids under three (not for long! SuperBoy’s bday is at the end of the month!) who have naps or quiet time twice a day. Because I’m not big into scrubbing and cleaning my house. Because I have family living closeby and can watch the kids so I can run errands or sit in front of the screeeeeeen on my desk or sew. Because my children aren’t in structured activities. Because I know I need me time or I lose my humanity–and my me time is blogging and crafting. Remember my post on recovering your humanity? Because I don’t shower that often or get dressed beyond something I can wear during the day, to the park, and to bed (yoga pants & a hoodie!). Because I was a do-a-holic before having children and enjoy putting my little extra energies into non-me-kids-things (although I write about kids and sew for kids–ha).

Not that I have to give reasons for how we do things, or how I parent, or how I defend or explain my activities. But hey, for everyone who thinks this blogger leads an instagram perfect life (I’m not even on instagram anymore after it was acquired by facebook), happily I can tell you I have so many failings, and selfishnesses, and narcissisms, and I hope you’ll forgive me. I’m trying to have less screen time that’s meaningless, cleaner sinks–you don’t even want to know how gross our bathroom was before I had had had to clean it due to guests–and stop checking who/how many/why people interact with me as electronic friends. But I’m sure to fail. Often.

The big picture is, we’re all in this world of woe together, and a few exceptional people lead the way for us to try to be like them, and most of the time we’re mucking around. My mom’s best friend and my second mother is one of those extraordinary people who does it all. She was just diagnosed with cancer. We don’t know how bad or how good, but it’s definitely cancer. She’s the most loving person I know, my own mother aside. Please, please pray for her treatment, recovery, and family.