3 Reasons Why to Find Out Baby’s Gender
I totally get why people chose to not find out the gender of their unborn child. This is by no means a critique or criticism of that choice. Not at all! I’m just one of those “can’t-wait-for-my-surprise-tell-me-now” kind of people. After a conversation with my doula this morning, I thought this would make an interesting blog post. Here are a few other reasons why I like knowing the gender of the baby.
1) Relating to the child more fully.
We are a gendered species, and I believe that gender spans more than mere physical sex traits. I felt like I knew SuperBoy better in utero knowing that he was a he. We also started calling him his name as soon as we found out his gender, although we kept the name (not gender) to our immediate families. Gender plays a large role in who we are as people, both metaphysically and physically. It helped AA and I feel like we were related to our baby more fully knowing he was him.
2) Preparation for parenting.
Little baby boys generally differ from little baby girls in a few ways: the skills they develop early on, what they are visually interested in, aptitude in general, and the list goes on. You may disagree with this entirely, but this is what we’re going off of as parents from studies and our own experiences. I wanted to know who to be prepared to parent, in a general, vague sense.
SuperBoy has access to dolls, trucks, crayons, books, and musical instruments. He prefers his ball and bat above everything else, but also loves snuggling with his pink & white teddy bear (my old one). I’m not saying little boys only like booming & moving, but my son is super super physically active and also very emotionally attune, which are characteristics linked with little boys. Dr. Sears encourages parents to spend lots of physical touch time with boys, as old-fashioned notions of “boys are tough and don’t need hugs” are damaging to little boys who translate the world far more through physical than verbal cues.
I was convinced I was pregnant with a girl up until our ultrasound. Good thing we found out the gender because we were literally calling “her” the girl name we had picked. And I was dreaming about pink pink pink and tutus. Knowing helped me prepare for more of a moving wrecking ball than a ballerina 🙂
3) Gender-related purchases.
We still painted our nursery yellow and picked mostly gender neutral infant items & bedding, as we hope to have many children and some of whom will (hopefully) be female. But lots of SuperBoy’s clothing and blankets, especially gifts, are blues and more traditionally “male” colors. We even got one of those “wee-pee-pee” little boy covers for changing a child who may spray you when you open the diaper. Which, as a side note, we’ve NEVER had to use as an uncircumcised boy doesn’t have that instant reaction to air that circ’d boys do. People really like buying gendered clothing for you. Really really. So if you’re at all swayed by popular vote on the matter, finding out does make your baby shower attendees happier.
Obviously there’s no right or wrong with this one, but interesting to me as to what motivates people to find out, or not find out!