the hundred events

Dear electronic friends I haven’t met in person, A la Bonnie, I too am going to post a little open letter to the universe toward you. I have my baby with me. Yes, he is big. No, he will not take a bottle. Yes, he will spit up on me and I will wipe it off my arm with my dress, possibly flashing you. Yes, I will be wearing a dress mostly because I cannot bear the squeeze of clothing postpartum. No, he does not sleep in a pack n play. Yes, he nurses all the time. I might flash you with the upper body parts doing so. I’m sorry if he screams on the airplane, in the hotel room, in the bathroom, in the conference, or any other time. I can’t help it. I love to meet new people. I promise not to glom onto you, though, so don’t worry if I chat happily for a few minutes with you. I may knit at the same time we’re talking. I’m making blankets for my etsy shop to pay backwards for these trips. You may not like to gab with a knitting, baby wearing mom. If so, sorry again. I cannot successfully put my hair in a knot top bun without having the front look flat and greasy. If that’s all I could muster in the hotel bathroom while bouncing my baby before coming down to the conference events, I’m sorry. For you, that is. I’ll just be glad it’s…