parenting small kids
photo by the talented Emily Rumsey–more where this outtake came from! complete with my attempted replacement ones. Because I really really am working on being a better wife. And a more loving wife. And a more kind one, too. Because I could really use work on this, I thought about all the things I say to my husband that I really cringe when I hear them aloud. I read an excellent book called The Power of Habit. Part of breaking a habit and shifting your behavior is replacing versus simply stopping cold turkey. Here’s my swap-out list of phrases not to say combined with those which are perhaps a sufficient replacement. As a preface: My husband is a great guy. He’s a wonderful and present father. A doting and kind husband who never ever yells. And right now our marriage is in a good place. These lines might not work if you feel like you’re unevenly yoked or wanting to get insight from an outside counselor for deeper marital or personal challenges. I have great recs for one or three of those if you need them! 1) Didn’t you wash their hands and brush their teeth yet? Using the accusing form of the verb: the one that says, you’re an idiot and I can’t believe you haven’t done a simple task that you should know you should do. It’s so easy to be demeaning to your spouse. It’s so horrible to say that, and maybe it’s just me. Small children…
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This past week, I actually had an in-real-life moment that mirrored what I’m always encouraging other moms not to get worked up about little kids are just like this, right? At moms’ group, my daughter had a complete screaming fit while grabbing ahold of me, in front of everyone, while I was taking notes on the white board. I love cheering and encouraging the young mom on. I’m often thinking about the problems we face, and blabbing about it on Facebook. Or snapping a really real pic of my house’s messes and screaming kids for instagram just to say, hey, it’s okay, we are all in this hard time together. I had to cheer myself on a little bit. Because every now and then, be it at swim class or at mom’s group, or anywhere that isn’t in her comfort zone, my three and a half year old SweetPea can really lose her s*&t. And so it happened the other day. I was embarrassed, a little. I was kinda glad it was my kid and not someone else’s because I wasn’t that embarrassed. Maybe I should have been. I scanned the crowd and figured the ladies with older kids thought that looks familiar and the ladies with younger kids probably thought what the heck is her problem and why isn’t Nell doing something about it. Buckle up for a long narrative. Ready? Here’s my overwritten version of the aforementioned meltdown. 1) It was going to be a busy day. A busy, driving around, balancing boxes of napkins…
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