hot cocoa

On Lent and the Feeling of Futile Suffering

April 12, 2017

Another 40 days and 40 nights (nearly) of Lent seemingly gone the way of failure. I sink into my hot cocoa mug, relinquishing the guilt that yes, our family gives up treats for Lent, that Jesus-diet guaranteed to break the monopoly sugar gut bacteria hold on my taste buds. My hot cocoa desires are based in a coping mechanism. Coping with another long recovery. Coping with the broken sleep that even the best little side-nursing cosleeper still bestows upon me. Coping with mental juggling and a touch of postpartum anxiety. I’m no coffee lover, so cocoa caffeination is all I can cling to. But this failure of really giving up treats brought me to another failure: my slow recovery. My pelvic floor took a number when I birthed this big baby and her shoulder dystocia. I’m healing on two fronts: internal pelvic floor and external SI-joints. My pelvis remains twisted and one side of my pubic bone is higher than the other. They’re called symphysis pubis dysfunction  and diastasis symphysis pubis and I know others struggled with this throughout pregnancy and into their postpartum. While I bustled around the country for the Blessed is She retreats, stupidly not even asking for a ride from those carts at the airport, carrying my 18 pounder in the carrier, my ligaments continued to not heal. While I decided to tackle changing over their coats and clothes for spring, sitting unevenly for hours, lunging forward to drag a pile toward me, bending to scoop up stray…

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drink it like it’s hot

November 6, 2014

If you know me, and you do, oh, yes, you do, you know I love hot beverages. I’m a poser. This is a rambling post. Brace yourselves. Teething has rendered me virtually brainless. Hop to Olivia’s blog for the last moments of giving away a Bandit Bib. Because: teething. I’m going to point you to my top teething solutions. Hop here. The advantage of a blog spanning multiple teething children. Right-o. But on to me. I love hot chocolate. Above all else. I will drink it to death, if on a dessert island. I could have multiple a day til my kidneys failed me. I could never ever go full non-dairy and non-chocolate because this is my life blood. When I was a little girl I would order chocolate milk at any given opportunity at a restaurant–which wasn’t that often. I just love love love chocolate in liquid form. BUT I also have grown begrudgingly fond of my sister’s tea. If you recall, out of us five kids, only one is really doing interesting things, Bridget. Okay, but Molly is a close second. Bridget {wave wave wave} is remarkable. And if you ask my mom what she does for a living, she will give you a quizzical look and pause, long, before responding something with computers . . . ? Actually, the sister between them is the most giving and selfless, and my brother is serving our country, so it really just leaves me doing the boring stuff. Like talking about tea and cocoa.…

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