3 kids under 5
I find myself still fighting poorly with my husband. We’ve come a long way in how we convey disagreements since our engagement (when we had our first real super duper fight?). And neither of us are the argumentative sort. Well, I’M not. And we know him to be easy going and generally laid back. So maybe one of us might be more stubborn and opinionated but I wouldn’t know that for a fact. Late into the hours the other night, my (sick? not really. teething? not really. growth spurt? maybe, sure. insomnia? could be. sleeping with his eyes open? definitely) littlest babe was up. In a weird way. Like, when I sat by his crib and held his hand periodically he would murmur off into a sleep that meant his eyes were taped open but his breathing and twitching indicated he was in REM. And when I tried to sneak out multiple times, he knew, oh! he knew. All this to say, I had a few hours sitting in a chair to braid segments of my hair, and think about this. How to fight better when you have small kids. Why is fighting different when you have small kids? Because you’re worn out to begin with, so your starting base isn’t a rest-filled, restored, peaceful, tranquil, my house-is-as-i-clean-up-last-night sort of life. You live in the rings of a tornado. So your fights can’t even come from a solid foundation. You’re like swinging into the wild winds hoping your spouse hears you because…
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I recently took stock in all that I’ve written on the blog over the past 3.5 years to see if there was good material for a book. I mean, the very original idea that a mommy blogger who’s a crunchy Catholic could schmoosh her posts into a book. Well, 170 pages of posts that generally fall under “parenting” had me convinced I am the next behavioral expert. Until I started re-reading it all. Yes, there are a few gems in there, but . . . big boy battles, 2 under 2, 3 under 5, taming your toddler’s tantrums, feeling powerless with your preschooler, power parenting: why force & fear don’t work, helping emotional boy find his voice & ears, clearly I’m just another mom with limited knowledge, time, energy, and yet unlimited opinions. Book may have to take a different form. But I digress. Right now we’re dealing with the fine line between threats and explained consequences with our budding four year old boy. Mr. SuperPants SuperBoy. He’s so sweet until he’s terrible. He loves to take directions until he doesn’t. He is never cross until he’s crossed. You know how it is. I’ve found a few things work and don’t work with his temperament. His sister’s already shaping up to be a completely different person (shocker!) with acute needs of her own. I share not because I’m an expert but because maybe your child is similarly situated and what is working for us might work for you. Or might…
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Just don’t. But let me back up and tell you about our epic morning first. We were up & at ’em bright and early with SuperBoy coming in before he’s supposed to (7am) at a lovely 6:40. I had just packed AA out the door with lunch, bfast, and a snack, scarfed down a bowl of cereal, Mom’s Best, the fake golden grahams? Yup. SuperBoy wanted to attack BabyLoves with his overpowering love for him. Lots of Here’s the Twins’ yearbook from two years ago. Let’s talk about each player. I love you SO much. You can play baseball just like me, if you want to . . . . Cue SweetPea and her stinky godzilla poopy night diaper. The girl’s been potty trained for 4 months but still opts to poop at naps & nighttime in her cloth diaper. Mama!!! I MADE A POOPIE!!!!! The morning starts off on rocky prickly ground as the big kids argue over who is going to touch and talk to the baby. There may be pushing and indignation. She always wins the screaming contests. I convince them to be nice to each other with the promise that their favorite family friend, Mr. J, who is a recent high school grad and doing small projects for us around the yard & house, will be here soon. Sunscreen on. Bug spray on. Kids in the queue for the toilet. {{What? Your kids are still getting bug bites? Aren’t you using Molly’s bug spray? It keeps even…
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